Tuesday, May 31, 2011

He's seen better days...

In a land long ago and far away, in a slot that time forgot...
Some think he failed because no one actually wanted to look at the rat bastard. Some think it was simply because he had no format. Others contend that it was the fault of the 'liberals' who stuck him in the late, late time spot. Most of us don't give a shit, we're just glad he's no longer on our television machines. 
Could we really be lucky enough to have history repeat itself and be in a 'radio-free-rush-zone' in the near future?
Don't know if I can be that optimistic, but I do like the fact that Arbitron's (radio ratings) report on 5/23/11 had Limbaugh's audience down 33% over last year. Maybe it's the beginning of a trend, and the dittoheads are starting to peel away like the facade on this building. One can only hope...

Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

 Please honor those who should be here with us today, but are not.  Remembering the dignity, dedication and bravery of those who serve, and paid the ultimate price need not get lost in the politics. The sense of loss is personal for each of us, because the missing, wounded and fallen soldiers are far more than just names and statistics. They are our kids, our brothers, sisters, mothers, dads, aunts and uncles. They are family. They are all our family. Maybe, when that becomes a greater part of the collective consciousness, we'll have to say good-bye to fewer of them.
To the members of the military; active and retired...Thank you for your service.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

1000 miles and a few thousand feet

California moping again, probably because this time of year used to mean hitting the beach, or at least making the most of my life as a river rat.
The view out the back door used to look like this...

And the critters we'd get to see on our morning sail would be a couple of these guys...
They'd spend all day in the sun, and bark hello if it wasn't too much trouble.

The scenery is still amazing... but what a difference 1000 miles and a little over 5600 feet make.

Here's today's view out the kitchen door...

And this gal comes up to say hi almost every night. Sometimes she brings her girlfriends. They're waiting for the garden to grow so they can have fresh appetizers.

Just needed to take a 'bitch break' from the real world.  At least I didn't post pictures of my kids.

Friday, May 27, 2011

And the hits just keep on comin'

According to a story on  MSNBC's Decision 2012 today, Tex-ass Governor Rick Perry and his haircut may throw a hat in the GOP nominee ring. That's about all they can throw, since it is widely known that like Bush before him, Perry is 'all hat and no cattle.'
This just gets better and better, with the start of the Sarah Palin 90 miles of bad dirt road tour. She'll probably burn through staffers and folks to write her road tweets faster than that big bus burns through diesel, and when you figure in what they'll spend along the way at Taco Bell, she's absolutely doing her part to jump start the economy.
All we need now is a Bachmann press conference on second amendment rights, so she can  wave a semi-automatic from a bell tower somewhere, and the nut-job parade will be complete.
Speaking of the stellar red team...what could Newt possibly have charged 500,000 dollars worth of, in those little blue boxes, that he's now so hell bent on keeping a secret? It's not like Tiffany sells diamond-encrusted (ow) sex toys, unless they have a double-secret-probation-catalog that only goes out to their best corporate clients. Damn, the only client thank you's I ever got from Tiffany were  a couple of key rings and a paperweight. Maybe that's because...never mind.
The sheer lunacy  of these people is almost (not quite) entertaining enough to make me forget how much I'd like Tim Pawlenty to choke on his words the next time he refers to medicare, social security, education, infrastructure or ANY government expenditure other than military spending as 'sacred cows.' T-Paw, you're an idiot if you think you can refer to voters as sacred cows, and not get trampled by the herd. It can't happen soon enough.  

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Adding to my misery...no one here thinks I'm funny.

On a non-political note; lately I've become a coupon whore. I don't know why. Never done this before...maybe it's the economy, maybe it's the competition; because somewhere, someone got a TV show about clipping coupons, and saving more money than they actually spend. I don't know, but I do know that I can't stop saving those '$1.00 OFF' register receipts that the only grocery store in town shoves in my face on my daily (yes, daily) visit. Hey, there is nothing else to do here, and if I didn't stop and chat at the City Market, I'd be parked on a bar stool someplace with my ass growing larger by the minute. OK...that said, during today's visit, I realized that no one here thinks I'm funny. This is how I know...
I used one of my coupons on coffee, and when I was handed my register receipt, the clerk said proudly, "You've got another coffee coupon!" as if I should do a celebratory dance. The thing was, I kinda felt like it. But, here's the hook, next time, in order to get the discount, I had to purchase twice as much of the brand-which-shall-remain-nameless-coffee. "Oh, hell, no!" I said to the clerk. "These things hook you, they're like heroin!" I thought it was funny. Come on, dollar off coffee coupons...illegal, destructive, addictive drug? The clerk just looked at me coldly, and said, "I wouldn't know about that."
Honey, you're my age.  You know better, because you're more matronly than me. Less cool, if that's possible. As far from 'heroin-chic' as we can get. I WAS KIDDING! I'M A FUCKING GIRL SCOUT. I FEEL GUILTY AND CHECK TO SEE IF ANYONE I KNOW IS  WATCHING WHEN I BUY PERSONAL HYGIENE PRODUCTS. Well, maybe not. But you get the point. That's why it was funny.
Except, to you it wasn't. That's one of the things I miss about California. More people there laughed at me.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My version of a sugar high.

So it doesn't take a lot to make me smile. Unlike Calista Gingrich...not looking for the blue box from Tiffany's.
For me, this is better...because I don't have to put this on a revolving account.
First, there was the NY District 26 race...Democrat Kathy Hochul beat  Republican Jane Corwin in a solidly red district. All because that little pervy weasel Chris Lee couldn't keep his shirt on and had to resign. Kiss it republicans!
Next, there was the great news that Chrysler paid back the 7.6 billion dollar taxpayer loan 6 years early. Good for America (and Canada) making the 'radical agenda' of saving 4000 American jobs good business. Suck this republican losers, you've been proven wrong yet one more time.
Oh,  what about those jobs that the Bush tax cuts were going to create...where should I be looking for those? It's time for you to shut up, since you guys have gotten your way far too long, because you told us that job creation depended on it. Waiting. Still waiting. You all were against helping the auto companies...we can find it on tape if you want. Just like everything else, republicans. were. wrong.
Could it be that the Dems are finally finding a backbone? Even Harry Reid is forcing the vote on the Ryan budget in the Senate...so the repos will have to go on the record with their unpopular opinions. Yes! Better than a cupcake!
And last on my list of happy talk, the latest Arbitron report states that both Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity audiences are down. Limbaugh's listeners are down 33% and Hannity is down 28 % compared to this time last year. Eat that, right wingnuts!
I'm going to have dessert.

It's always fun til someone gets hurt...

Just thought I'd peek inside the big GOP-PY tent to see what's living in there...
This is what we've got so far...

Herman 'youtubesensation' Cain

Vern 'I don't know either' Wuensche

Newt 'Tiffany' Gingrich

Fred 'skunked out of the debate' Karger

Tom 'being a flight attendant so qualifies me to be president' Miller

Ron 'I want to end the Federal Government then run it' Paul

Tim 'wake me when you're done' Pawlenty

Gary 'the wing nuts will never go for  guy who may be pro-choice' Johnson

Mitt 'everyone thinks I'm a great businessman except for the people who worked for Bane' Romney

Then...just to be sure we don't forget the lunatic-yet-undeclared-fringe...

Michelle 'I'm afraid to debate a teenager' Bachmann

Sarah 'the-lying-quitting-can't-write-a-tweet-of-her-own-I-can-see-Russia-from-my-house-Katie-Couric-was-mean-to-me-I'm-not-qualified-to-be-the-Obama's-maid' Palin

This is going to be fun....

Here's to 'Rude American Women'.

Am I about to be culturally insensitive? Probably...given that I'm a rude American woman, I don't give a shit. Here's the story that started this particular outburst...

According to a story in the May 14 Grand Junction Sentinel, a prosecutor in Montrose successfully argued against a bond reduction for resident Timothy Ondari, who is being held in the county jail on a $75,000 cash-only bond. This isn't all of them, but a few of the crimes he's been charged with are third degree assault, sexual assault, harassment, and criminal mischief. The charges stem from an alleged attack on a woman who is a fellow immigrant from Kenya, who he allegedly punched and whipped with a belt before having unlawful sex with her. It was reported that he began punching the woman because "she wasn't being as submissive as a Kenyan woman should be, but was acting like a rude American woman."
Because maybe she said, 'No?' Hey, Ondari...You want to see some rude American women... I'll show you  rude American women, you little jiminy cricket candy ass. Would he ever pick on someone who would stand up to him? Like all abusers, its doubtful.
I don't know what is most upsetting- the fact that because of her religious beliefs the woman 'forgave' him and wanted the charges dropped, saying  in a letter,"Before God, I forgive him, hoping he will not repeat the same again." (Heads up...you can forgive him all you want, but it is your duty to press charges.If you don't, you are enabling this jerk to go out and do it again.) or that Ondari is studying nursing at Mesa State.(Unacceptable. Perpetrators of violence need to be exempt from serving as caregivers...what's the outcome when he decides a patient isn't being submissive enough?) Ondari's Public Defender argued that he had received a scholarship, and asked that he wanted bond to be set at $1500 so he could continue working to support his elderly parents. The PD's request was denied by Judge Jerry Montgomery, citing the severity of the charges.
OK, OK...I know allegations, not convictions...but I can't get past the idea that Mr. Ondari needs a little more exposure to a few more 'rude American women' to help him with an attitude adjustment, and a little education as to what is acceptable behavior.
This isn't about singling out immigrants, or perpetuating prejudices. This is about the belief system that enables the behavior, as well as all the bullshit fear lately about 'Sharia law'.
Mr. Ondari broke the law, and our system will deal with him. Hopefully, the woman who was victimized will seriously learn to 'act like a rude American woman' and press charges, because jackholes like this need to be held accountable.It makes no difference where they come from, where they worship, or what color they are. This situation is not a whole lot different than any drunk-assed Bubba who hits his wife because she didn't do what he wanted when he wanted.  Mr. Ondari would most likely be an abusive prick whether his ass was parked in Montrose or in Kenya, and like most abusive men, he picked a victim who wouldn't fight back. That's why I believe both Mr. Ondari and the woman he attacked would benefit from a little more exposure to different cultures and belief systems. A couple of grandmothers come to mind. One of my own, and my husband's. My own grandmother was a pretty traditional Iowa farm wife, who never wore a pair of pants in her life, and had a clear sense of what was and what was not 'ladylike'. When I knew her, she was built like a piece of farm equipment, and was just about as strong. She was kind, but underneath, tough as nails. She was the one who did the heavy lifting...not my grandfather. She figured out how to save the family farm during the depression, she was the one who got things done, and took care of business. It's hard to realize that she didn't have the right to an education, wasn't allowed to vote until she was in her thirties, and didn't learn how to drive a car until she was over fifty. I can speak with a certain amount of authority that no one ever raised a hand to her, nor did she ever raise a hand to anyone else, but when she spoke, people paid attention.
My husband's grandmother was physically the opposite, a tiny little Sicilian woman who wasn't quite five feet tall. A legendary beauty in her day, but also a force of nature, and one to be reckoned with. Taking on Nana would have been like trying to fight a tidal wave. She was in her eighties by the time I met her, sweet as can be, but even then I knew- no one messed with Nana. No one ever messed with Nana. Unlike my grandmother, who had the girth, something about Nana's energy made it apparent that if she was crossed, it wouldn't be good for the cross-ee.
So I'm left to ponder...What makes the difference? Before anyone goes all Muslim-y on me, and tries to make this about the fact that the bad guy in this particular story is a Kenyan immigrant, think about all the Christian fundies whose teachings demand the submission of women. What gives some people, both male and female the strength to stand up for themselves and others, even when the law, those around them, and their surroundings seek to keep them oppressed?  We only have to think back a few decades to recall how many heroes emerged from the civil rights movement. There are so many wingnuts around these days, sometimes I  forget about generations who demonstrated character when it wasn't easy. The ones who took the high road when it would have been simpler to stay in the muck. Maybe it just comes down to good guys and bad guys. 
Maybe it comes down to bullies and victims and the space in between. There's a twisted kind of synergy involved. You can't have bullies without victims and vice-versa. I'm beginning to think you can't have any of it without the dogma embraced by all of those who fly the fundamentalist flag. 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Play Ball!

The sun is finally shining; there are about a million outside chores that are waiting, but like a jackass, I channel surfed...and so I here I sit, because the  Sandlot is on again. It doesn't matter that we've seen it approx. 1,247 times at my house, and own a copy of  the DVD.  It's still the perfect movie for a day when the weather makes you believe the seasons really will change...eventually.
Usually not much for sports movies,  but if you've ever been a kid or the parent of a kid, how can you not love this movie? My favorite is the epilogue, when we learn, among the other details, that Squints Palledorous marries Wendy Peffercorn. C'mon- that's sweet. If you're going to be lazy, it's not a half bad way to kill a couple of hours. It's also kind of nice to spend a few hours not being a cynical bitch.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Dick Cheney's pushing a new book...State of WI is attempting to roll back voting rights in an push to halt the growing recall effort that's threatening to take down Scott Walker and a few of his Repo pals...Sarah Palin has a 'fire' in her belly... man, the Rapture is sounding better and better by the minute.
Wait a second....Dogs and Cats; living together...mass hysteria! I just googled GOP, and had to sift through page after page of  dismal headings for Repos. It was kind of fun. Not much makes me happier than Republicans in distress.You know, since  I'm waiting for the end of the world anyway, nothing is better than a  Sapphire Martini and reading about how many stupid things the Party of No has said and done in the last 48 hours. I personally know that I'll get left behind on Saturday, so I'm just going to suck it up, put my tray table back into its full upright position and enjoy watching the faithful fly up to heaven. I just hope they get to keep their clothes, because personally, I don't want to see a bunch of religious nuts naked....it would mean therapy for a long, long time.
See you tomorrow...or not.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Save America... from the wingnuts at the Save America Foundation

Coming soon, to a Doubletree Inn near you!
An empty room boasting speakers whose subject matter will create such a vacuum it threatens to suck out any intelligence left in the room!!
Yep, that's what the SAVEAMERICACONVENTION is going to do when it comes to Grand Junction, CO in June.
The photo on the left was taken at a Save America event in Tampa, Florida, back in March, which had  25 speakers, 13 musicians and a whopping 300 attendees. Wow. That's....epic, especially since you consider that Faux star Andrew Napolitano, anti-immigration candidate Tom Tancredo (who lost the CO governor's race to Democrat John Hickenlooper) and if-you-have-a-right-to-health-care-it-makes-me-a-slave Ron Paul were the headliners. Seriously, in a place as weird as Florida, I'd have thought they'd fill that big old room, especially since they literally gave tickets away. Fail. Big Fail. I Wonder what will happen when they get here to GJ...we do have our share of whackjobs; Mesa County is as red as a Nancy Reagan suit, and the local CBS affiliate could not deliver an objective report of the Obama Administration if someone gave the news director a bj as incentive. (I'm just sayin'...they're not exactly on it) So who are these brave souls out to save America, one banquet room at a time?
The ads that pop up on the Save America website might be an indication of their target audience...survival gear and knives, stockpiling food, gold and silver, military education, retirement communities, manufactured homes, and best of all...male enhancement. So if we were profiling a typical audience, it would be a bunch of old gun and knife toting (I'm thinking anti-government ) white guys who are either interested in moving into a senior living facility or hauling their doublewide high to the hills where they can read up about re-enacting old battles, buy gold coins, store food, and enlarge their dicks. Do you get why this is scarier than hyperinflation?
I don't know how I got so nasty, but simply reading a little 2 x 3 ad for this event in the GJ Sentinel pissed me off to the extent that I wanted to forward the next 3 week's worth of used cat litter to the special guest speakers at this dumbed-down-fear-mongering-hate-fest. The first thing that got my attention is that they misspelled the subheading; which was, "Solutions for the Escalting Crisis" I'm sure they meant the Escalating Crisis. Or not. Maybe Escalting has reached crisis levels. They go on to spread fear about "Debt Crisis - Decline of the Dollar - Sharia Law - Hyperinflation - Erosion of Civil Liberties.
This fear mongering gets my goat, because honestly- there are lots of things that give me the skeevies, but it's mostly how easy it is to manipulate crazies who show up for dumbshit events like this one. I think the speakers are a hell of a lot more chilling than any of the red meat topics that they will toss to the crowds (??) at the event.
As an example: The main draw is a author/filmmaker named G.Edward Griffin, who not so long ago made a guest appearance on...you guessed it, Glenn Beck's trainwreck. This guy is so far right he can't walk straight. He's got the mark of the Birch Society somewhere on his scalp, served as a speech writer back in '68 for George Wallace's VP candidate, Curtis LeMay, and is a Laetrile 'quack'. Now, that scares me more than  anything on their agenda. Then there's Martin Mawyer, of the Christian Action Network. He's an old Jerry Falwell fruitcake, and wants to warn good Americans about the danger of Sharia Law. Never you mind that the Supreme Court did that already, about 20 years ago, in Employment Division v Smith, where it was ruled that 'religious law cannot override secular law'. Antonin Scalia even wrote the majority opinion- you'd think these guys would be aware of this...except that facts rarely fit into their fear-mongering, rabble-rousing, money-raising efforts. We're also supposed to conveniently forget the fact that a whole bunch of the Christian Fundies impose rules on their congregations that mirror Sharia law. But it's different because God phoned them up and said it was OK. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
 Some of the other topics and speakers on the agenda are 'Sue the banks, Sue the fed',  Replacing the House of Representatives, States rights, and the 10th Amendment, but the one that really makes me queasy is that wild and crazy group, Oathkeepers. This is a bunch of Timothy McVeigh wannabes;  former military or police who keep themselves heavily armed and simply can't wait for that day when (they are convinced this will happen) President Obama will declare Marshall Law, so  they can grab their guns and justifiably start shooting anyone who doesn't look like them. That's what this is really about.It's about hate. It's about the fact that these guys cannot stand that there is a man of color who is a hell of a lot smarter than they are in the WH. These guys are birthers, conspiracy nuts, and just happen to have their share of criminals among their ranks. The ones that popped up easily were Darren Huff, arrested for plotting to take control of a Madisonville, Tenn courthouse and place federal, state and local officials under citizen's arrest. Evidently, his actions were an attempt to prevent another anti-government nutbag, Walter Francis Fitzpatrick from facing trial for his attempt to illegally place a grand jury foreman under citizen's arrest.) Then there's Charles Dyer, who was arrested for rape and sodomy of a 7 year old, as well as possessing a grenade launcher that was stolen from a CA military base.(to be accurate, the weapons charges were dropped- he's still facing the rape charges)  In Cleveland, Ohio, Matthew Fairfield was jailed for 54 counts of storing a live napalm bomb at his home as well as other explosives at the homes of friends.  So let's get this straight...we're supposed to pay attention to these people who put others under citizen's arrest, risk the safety of those who may be unfortunate enough to come in contact with them, and are ever-so-anxious to use violence. They think we should be afraid of...laws? Uuuummm, no. Laws we can fix. Stupid, not so much. Frankly, I'd feel much better if they would just set up their own country somewhere far, far away, and leave the rest of us to work out the democracy thing, because it's complicated, and most likely a little beyond their abilities. I don't care how you frame it, all their dogs aren't barking. Why should this be a surprise?  With the right wing, it's always about fear, it's always about inflaming the least educated, and their fall-back position is always 'us vs. them'. Enough already. We've got work to do. Instead of acting all batshit crazy, why don't they ask the new tea party members of congress how that job creation thing is going for them. Isn't that what they ran on? Wasn't it all about the jobs? With all the obsession over where citizens worship, what I do with my uterus, and buying up weapons, they have lost focus. Groups like this are clown shoes. They should stop playing crazy GI Joe, quit making things up, and stop trying to scare old guys who are worried about the size of their dicks. Like that will happen...in the mean time, wouldn't  it be great if they had another fear-fest and no one showed up?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Fundamentalist Misogynists..they might hold different prayer books, but they all play for the same team.

A pathetic bunch we'd be better off to ignore, except for the abuse that the powerful inflict on those without any choice. We don't need to have a special brand of outrage for the Islamic misogynists. Occasionally the wire services pick up a story about the beatings or harsh punishments inflicted by the mullahs, and we're horrified. Are we as indignant when the arm holding the whip has a bible tucked under it?  We have a bumper crop of our own home-grown abusive baptist cults, and we don't even have to go far to find them. When the victims come from the next county,or the next state- we don't hear about it so much, until a fresh crop of survivors come forward to go public with their stories. Here's the story that is so un-frigging-believable I had to read it twice...
It's the story of a 15-year old girl, who was the member of an Independent Fundamentalist (what else) Baptist Church in Concord, New Hampshire, when she was raped and became pregnant by a then 39 year old man. The child-rapist's name is Earnest Willis, and he wasn't charged with the crime when it happened back in 1997, mostly because the Evil Fundie preacher man, whose name is Charles Phelps, arranged for the victim to stay at his home for a couple of days before she was whisked off to Colorado where she was 'home schooled', (when home-schooling is done by a cult, it's more like indoctrination) by another church member. She had the child, which was put up for adoption, but not before she was forced to write a letter of apology and read it to the Trinity Baptist Congregation. That's right. The creepy-aiding-and-abetting Pastor forced the victim to apologize to the congregation. If I believed in hell, I think that Earnest Willis, Pastor Phelps, the victim's parents, and every single asshat who was part of the congregation of the Trinity Baptist Church, and witnessed the victim's 'apology' but  did not stand up for her most surely have their names engraved on Satan's 'must have' list.
What kind of a demented individual supports this kind of organization? Do some reading on Independent Fundamentalist Baptists, the teachings of Bob Jones, the unaccredited religious schools, and the philosophies on child rearing, especially 'breaking the will of a child'. These are the guys that think it's OK to beat kids into submission. Even babies. The sexual and child abuse that runs rampant throughout this group of patriarchal  sick tickets paints them as nothing more than the bible-belt version of the Taliban.If one of our founding principles is religious freedom, we ought to do a better job to make sure that includes freedom from religion, and freedom from abuse.  As a civilized society, how do we protect those who are not consenting adults, from an organization that seems to be more focused on breeding child molesters and rapists than any kind of worship? Are these mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers completely unaware that when a 39 year old man has sex with a 15 year old, there is no CONSENT?  Have they ever heard the term, "consenting adults"? The fact that the congregation, as a whole didn't get up and march this guy to the police station tells me there is something morally bankrupt about the whole fundie group. The rapist Willis also offered to drive the victim out of state for an abortion, and offered to 'punch her hard in the stomach' to induce a miscarriage. Nice guy, huh. Nice to know those right to life principles really stick when it's your dick that's in trouble. But hey...the Pastor made him stand up in front of the congregation and apologize for being unfaithful to his wife- so I guess that makes it all OK.
The former victim doesn't sound like a victim any longer. She's 29, and has asked that her name be released for the sake of justice. Christina Anderson was located by police in Concord, New Hampshire after they read about victims on the Facebook page, "Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Cult Survivors". Read up on the Independent Fundie Baptists...if you have a strong stomach. The personal stories are gut-wrenching. I found myself really wishing that these creeps were part of the nutbag group that's preparing for the world to end on the 21st, because if suddenly, all these religious lunatics would make a quick exit, the world would be a much, much better place.

To Ms. Anderson, I'm sorry that so many horrid things happened to you at the hands of people who should have been your guardians, and I hope you finally see some justice.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Strange tale...or not.

I'm so tired of hearing the same illogical arguments about our budget; cobbled together with Republican talking points, augmented by phony figures which defy common sense. When repeated enough times by people who really should know better, this crap takes on a life of its own. I used to work for a guy who loved to use 'the family budget' as an analogy for balancing our national budget and never missed the opportunity to give us his POV about living within our means. This same kind of  folksy mindset is alive and well in the brains of a whole lot of people who can't possibly be as disconnected as they sound.  They defend welfare for corporations while gutting medicare and social security to protect some sacrosanct ideology that they really don't fully understand. That's something I don't understand.
It makes as much sense as this...
Let's just say (just like the United States) you and partner are trying to stay afloat. You work, you pay bills, you cope with the rising cost of living. Your house needs repairs, sometimes you can pay cash, sometimes you charge it. Things wear out, you have to replace them. Kids need stuff, like food. Like shoes. Like coats. You cut back where you can, and hope you don't get sick. Prices keep going up, and it gets harder and harder to make ends meet. It's tough all over. You have a couple of brothers who've lost their jobs & homes, and, because it's family, you let them move into one of your spare rooms. They find temporary minimum wage work, and chip in what they can. They help around the house. They make a contribution. Then, out of the blue, you get a call from your two wealthy uncles, David and  Charles, who are bazillionaires; they tell you they're coming for an extended stay. Good deal, you think. We're all working really hard, and earning as much as we can. We're cutting waste. WE DON'T HAVE A SPENDING PROBLEM, WE HAVE A REVENUE PROBLEM. It will help when Chuck and Dave move in. We'll help each other.
 They own lots of big companies, and have a ton of cash, but for some strange reason, they want to hang out at your house. You know that they may be in a position to offer your brothers a job. They are 'job creators', so you pretty much lay down the welcome mat. They move into your home, but instead of being polite, they are ingrates. At the dinner table, they take all the food for themselves, and leave nothing for anyone else. They make messes, polluting your environment, and refuse to clean up after themselves. They do not respect your home, and leave unsafe situations for your children to stumble upon. They use all your hot water, run up your phone bill, leave all the lights on, leave piles of dirty dishes on the counter, filthy socks under the bed and refuse to take out the trash. When you ask them about a job for your brothers, they stall. Later, you find that  some of those long distance calls they've been making are for the purpose of hiring cheap labor offshore instead of helping the family and creating a job opportunity at home, even though it would help tremendously. When you ask them to pitch in, they are insulted that you would even ask, and demand to be given all the benefits of your hospitality, without making a contribution. Occasionally Charles or David will bring home the NY ballet to perform, host a tea party, or park a huge vinyl-wrapped diesel bus in your driveway, but that doesn't exactly help with the job situation, and it doesn't change the fact that they're living off your your hard work, using your resources to get richer, and not paying their share of the upkeep. They are absolutely taking way too many liberties with your hard earned money. They are certainly in a position to help out, but refuse, because they don't think they should have to. You realize that they are selfish, greedy, irresponsible and messy. What keeps you from shoving their self-serving asses out the door? Is it the thought that they might someday create jobs? Maybe? Not good enough. When you total up all the resources Charles and David burn through, vs. what they contribute- it's way out of balance. When you compare what they cost to the small amount of help you've extended to your brothers- there's no contest. Besides, you can make your bros pitch in and do the dishes. And you realize that with your bros, the more they work, the more they'll put money back in the household kitty. That is never going to happen with Uncle Charles and Uncle David unless you lay down some ground rules. But Chuck and Dave are so wealthy that they don't like ground rules. In fact, when you do try and lay down the law, you find out that they've  hired a couple of lobbyists, paid off some Congressmen, and brought in some pricey lawyers, so before you know it, it's not your home anymore, its theirs. You're out on your ass with your brothers, and guess what...no jobs for anyone. You've all been outsourced, and now your neighborhood is so toxic that no one can live there. Chuck and Dave are already off to drop in on the next unsuspecting relative. Does this sound remotely familiar?  If it isn't already too late, we really should kick those rotten Uncles to the curb, and make sure we take back our house. Then protect our Senate. Oh, yeah, and no more tea parties!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Jerry Sonnenberg (R-Sterling)... persona non grata

Well, it's like this...If you thought the Texas & Florida legislatures cornered the market on skeevy tactics, you'd be wrong. Some of our very own Colorado Repo's are giving bottom feeders in all other 49 states a run for their money.
This is what I've got my nightie in a knot about right now...SB11-258, the "Local Foods" bill will die today, because Chairman of the House Ag Committee, Jerry Sonnenberg, (R-Sterling) refused to hold a committee meeting, until it is too late.
In spite of pleadings from Ag Committee member Randy Fischer, (D-Ft. Collins) and the fact that Colorado residents traveled from all over the state in order to testify before the committee in support of the bill, Rep. Sonnenberg 'flatly refused' to hold the committee meeting until Wednesday, guaranteeing the bill will die, as there is a legislative rule requiring 24 hours between a bill's second and final readings.
Well, isn't that special. It's not all bad news, though, because we're getting a crystal clear picture of who stands up for us,and who refuses to. These Reps have your back: Ed Vigil, (D-San Luis) and Don Coram (R-Montrose), who were co-sponsors of the bill, Gail Schwartz (D-Snowmass Village) introduced the bill, and is a big advocate for the 'cottage industry food' movement. Randy Fischer, the good guy from Dist. 53 showed us what he's made of, and that he'll go to bat for the people of Colorado. All the people of Colorado, not just big Ag business. He fought a good fight. Hats off to you, Rep. Fischer! He also took the time to reply to email messages, and there were many sent.
If any of this pisses you off, make a call or send an email...this is the only way we'll ever get anyone's attention. Let them know you're watching and listening.
A footnote on this; while researching the members of the House Ag Committee, I found a couple of really frightening things, for instance: Jerry Sonnenberg is one of the six Republicans who voted against Civil Unions, (how proud will he be when history tells this story?)  and J.Paul Brown (R-Ignacio) Dist. 59, is a climate change denier, and was the lone vote against House Bill 1079, a non-controversial bill which passed 64 -1. It streamlined providing services to homeless youth. We're not sure why Brown voted against it, but it deserves an explanation. Good voting records, dudes!
Here's a list of email addresses and phone numbers for members of the House Ag Committee Members.  Remember, if you don't pay attention, who will?

Jerry Sonnenberg (R-Sterling) District 65;  303-866-3706    jerry@repsonnenberg.com
Marsha Looper (R-Calhan) District 19; 303-866-2946  marshalooper@gmail.com
Randy Baumgardner (R-Hot Sulphur Springs) District 57, 303-866-2949  randy.baumgardner@gmail.com
Matt Jones (D-Longmont) District 12, 303-866-2920 repmattjones@gmail.com
Roger Wilson (D-Glenwood Spgs) District 61, 303-866-2398 roger.wilson.house@state.co.us
Don Coram (R-Montrose) District 58, 303-866-2955 don.coram.house@state.co.us
J.Paul Brown (R-Ignacio) District 59, 303-866-2914 brownjpaul@yahoo.com
Glenn Vaad (R-Mead) District 48, 303-866-2943  glenn.vaad.house@state.co.us
Ray Scott (R-GJ) District 54, 303-866-3068 ray.scott.house@state.co.us
Wes McKinley (D-Walsh) District 64, 303-866-2398 wes.mckinley.house@state.co.us
Su Ryden (D-Aurora) District 36, 303-866-2942 su.ryden.house@state.co.us
Edward Vigil (D-San Luis) District 62, 303-866-2916 edward.vigil.house@state.co.us
Randy Fischer (D-Ft. Collins) District 53, 303-866-2917 randyfischer@frii.com

All politics is local, right?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life with lost glasses

I watch way too much TV. I don't actually watch it all that much, but I'm kind of addicted to having a set on somewhere in the house so I can rely on it for background noise, and that way, not so much on the voices in my head.
Today, I'd sequestered myself in the den which meant I had to use the pink Hello Kitty television with the little tiny 13-inch screen. (Yes, it's MY Hello Kitty TV, not a leave-behind from a grown kid)
This wouldn't be a problem, except for scrolling through the TV guide on the minuscule 13-inch screen. It shouldn't have been a problem, except I didn't have my glasses. I'd left them in bed. My husband, who came home early because he wasn't feeling well, went to lie down, and promptly fell asleep on the last place I saw them. I wasn't about to wake him up to retrieve them, because then I might have to do something along the lines of a care-giving nature, and we weren't in the mood for that, Hello Kitty and I. We wanted some TV trash background noise on, while surfing Internet news to find the latest crimes the Repos are about to perpetrate against their fellow Americans, or learn the latest bit of shrill stupidity out of Sarah Palin's ignorant worthless lying mouth. Normally, I'd just turn on old crime show reruns, because I've seen them all and they provide noise without distraction, but my husband thinks I need to be in a 12-step program for Law & Order addicts. Not funny.
The problem, as I see it, or in this case can't see it, was trying to make some sense out of the blur which was the on-screen satellite guide. Even with my strongest high-power squint, I see something called  SPIT OF COLORADO  followed by LOOK YOGURT IN 14 DAYS.  I wonder if the Spit is like a saliva thing or it's a cooking show, and there's something on a rotisserie. Whatever, I don't want to look Yogurt. I hate Yogurt. Keep scrolling. I see BAD LINIMENT, WHEN VATICANS ATTACK, THE CATALOG, NUKED HER BREATH, ATOMIC BELLY, POWDER LAUNCH,  and  DON'T FORGET TO LICK IT.
OK, this totally sucks. I cowboy up, go in the bedroom and yank my glasses out from under the sleeping husband, then return to the screen. The titles I was squinting at actually read: SPIRIT OF COLORADO, LOOK YOUNGER IN 14 DAYS, BAD LIEUTENANT, WHEN VACATIONS ATTACK, THE CALLING, MARKED FOR DEATH, ATOMIC BETTY, POWER LUNCH and DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS.
Hmmm. Even optically-enhanced, there was nothing remotely interesting. No wonder so many people in town have thrown out their television machines. So here's the thing...even with my glasses on, the remaining show titles were just as weird as the ones I'd mis-read...PREGNANT IN HEELS, GROW BIGGER TOMATOES, CARVE ABS IN BED, BUBBLE GUPPIES, KILL IT, COOK IT, EAT IT. No Thanks, better to go back to TNT and keep the parade of  Law & Order reruns on. Now, if  only I could find a show called SHOOT IT, STUFF IT, OR MARRY IT, I'd be totally tuned in.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Another Re-tread Repo About To Announce

Oh boy, the fun never ends. Newt Gingrich is about to announce his 2012 Presidency bid on a Wednesday appearance on (what else?) Faux News' Hannity's Show of Horrors.
This is almost anti-climatic after he facebooks and twits it to death.
But seriously, Newt says he's "humbled by the all the encouragement". (I'm not encouraging that lying, cheating, creepy old fart, are you?)
I say with more than a dozen other GOP wanna-be's all exploring bids, the Gross Old Panderers are doing the equivalent of 'checking the sofa cushions for loose change' in search of a suitable candidate that can stand up to President Obama in 2012. Maybe they should just keep looking...
But let's see what new fresh ideas Nineties Newt comes up with. It better be good to combat all the personal  baggage he's dragging behind him. Wife dumping and multiple marriages, ethics charges, stepping down in '99...I'd say Newt has the dee-lux, fancy-assed matched set of personal baggage.
For all of us who are old enough to remember...watching the repos work this out ought to be an E-ticket ride, and I'm not talking about an electronic ticket, just dreaming of Disneyland.

Sick of this...

This time it's not politics, it's just the weather, and missing California.
We were teased with a couple of days of spring-like weather; the hills are getting green enough so the view from the deck makes me feel like putting on a dress and twirling around like Julie Andrews.

See...don't you just wanna belt out "The hills are alive..."
OK, me neither. Not really. I truly just want to get some vegetables planted, or go shopping, or sit in the sun, or find some trouble to get into. But after only two days of enjoying the spring-fake-out, just like clockwork, the weather rolls in again.
The sky gets dark and ominous, the thunder is so loud is scares the crap out of the dog, and up on the hill, this is the only thing we're inspired to do now...

Lay around and scan the carpet for pepperoni that fell off last night's pizza. Sad. So sad.
Adding to my misery, I play catch-up with friends and find out that my California pals did things like...see Hugh Jackman at the Curran in SF, take a trip to Yosemite, go for a day sail to Half Moon Bay. A reminder of what I'm missing.  My son in NY (who can get good Chinese food WHENEVER he wants it) spent his day off at the Brooklyn Museum.
Skipping back to Colorado, we're not without our own brand of excitement. My husband was all juiced up because he was headed out on a photo shoot...of a cattle drive. And locally, this was the weekend that had both the Sheep Dog trials at the Hotchkiss Fairgrounds, as well as the city-wide yard sale. Seriously, the whole town turns into a big yard sale over the weekend. Which is great if you're sick of your own useless crap and you want to buy some one else's. Me...not so much. I'm going to go out to the car to try and talk the dog out of leaving,

 then I'm going to see if I can find some more pepperoni.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I have the coolest mother around. She's nearly 90, and she's still 'on it' for an old broad.
This photo says it for me...although later today, I plan on submitting it to awkward family photos, under both the awkward family heading and  awkward pets (the duck!)
The photo was taken in the spring of 1956. I was the baby, happily oblivious to how weird my family was.
Check out my sister's dolls...she's got a black one and a white one. They were her twins. Later, as an adult, I commented to my mother how cool it was that she bought my sister a black doll and a white doll. She looked at me like I was an idiot, and simply said, "Why wouldn't I?"
Happy Mother's Day, Lois.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Heads Up Colorado Residents...We need your support for SB11-258; The 'Local Foods, Local Jobs' Act

If you are a fellow Coloradan, we need your support on this one!
According to our friends at Slow Food Western Slope,  the 'Local Foods, Local Jobs' Act (SB11 - 258) will be heard in the House Ag. Committee this coming Monday, May 9 at 1:30PM. Your support is urgently needed to help get this through the Committee.
This bill is very important to both farmers and consumers in Colorado, as it creates provisions to allow small, local farms more freedom to bring certain low-risk prepared food to local markets.
Read the actual bill here http://www.leg.state.co.us/CLICS/CLICS2011A/csl.nsf/MainBills?openFrameset
If you are concerned about food safety, spending 5 minutes on the FDA's list of recalled food is all it takes to see that the foods that pose the biggest safety risks are not those grown by small, local farms. See the recall list here:  http://www.fda.gov/Safety/Recalls/default.htm
 This bill is a great step in the right direction, will have a positive impact on our local economy, and help connect people to their farmers. When quality and safety are the greatest concerns, it's well-known that a closer connection between farm and table result in greater accountability and consumer input. In an economic climate that has seen more and more small and family farms struggle and lose business to corporate giants, this bill gives us a chance to do something right.

You can email the whole committee using these addresses:
 repmattjones@gmail.com, roger.wilson.house@state.co.usdon.coram.house@state.co.us,

Phone numbers:
Rep. Sonnenberg: 303-866-3706
Rep. Looper: 303-866-2946
Rep. Baumgardner: 303-866-2949
Rep. Jones: 303-866-2920
Rep. Wilson: 303-866-2398
Rep. Coram (co-sponsor of bill): 303-866-2955 Rep. Brown: 303-866-2914 Rep. Vaad: 303-866-2943 Rep. Scott: 303-866-3068 Rep. McKinley: 303-866-2398 Rep. Ryden: 303-866-2942 Rep. Vigil (co-sponsor of bill): 303-866-2916 Rep. Fischer: 303-866-2917

If you call or email, please let them know who you are, where you're from, and be sure and express your support for 'Local Foods, Local Jobs' Act (SB11-258). Ask them to support the bill when it comes up for their vote, because the bill will encourage job growth, allow consumers the freedom to purchase products made with quality ingredients grown locally, promote Colorado agritourism, and allow local growers to be more profitable by utilizing surplus production.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Some fools just deserve to have their hard drives fried...

One of the items on the news today was a warning from the FBI, alerting people not to open emails currently circulating that claim to have a video or photos showing the killing of Osama Bin Laden. Another version appeals to the conspiracy nuts, and promises to show a picture of Bin Laden holding a current newspaper; the purpose being to discredit President Obama.  Of course, they are fakes, and the attachment contains a virus with malware that will embed itself into a user's system, attach to contact lists and capture personal information.
My thoughts...anyone who is either so whacked out that they would be interested in watching a 'death video', or dumb enough to think that they'll find credible 'proof'  of anything in an email message deserves whatever computer damage that comes their way. If enough of these jerk-offs actually get their systems shut down for a little while, maybe we just won't have to listen to so many insane theories.
And another thing... It seems a disproportionate number of news media personnel have had difficulties confusing 'Osama' and 'Obama' during all the recent frenetic broadcasting. I contend that the ones who do wouldn't have this problem if they were in the habit of showing the least amount of respect to the current president; and had been using a title preceding his name. If a 'Mr.' or 'President' had been incorporated into speech patterns, you can bet your ass they wouldn't be mixing up the Commander in Chief with the recently deceased murderous fugitive. I'm just sayin...

Monday, May 2, 2011

Remembering the heroes of Sept. 11...what taking the bad guy down meant to me.

Every news article, every post, every blog  today has been focused on the same topic; the death of Osama Bin Laden. Different perspectives; a wide range of emotions, but everyone has something to say,  because this feels big, to different individuals for different reasons.
I stumbled on the news accidentally last night only because the batteries died in my remote control. I had been happily watching AMC, and had to repeatedly smack the remote when it was time to change channels, which inadvertently flipped me to a Fox station, where I recognized Giraldo. Reflexively I started yelling and waving the remote around like it had snot on it, trying to get any other channel on, when the crawler  on the bottom of the screen became visible, stating that Bin Laden had been killed. Because it was Fox, I immediately thought it was a scam, so I ran into the living room where my husband was engrossed in an action movie. "Osama Bin Laden has been killed and I can't get Fox off the TV in the bedroom!", I screamed  at him.
He turned around and looked at me like I had just set fire to the dog. "Well, hell, I didn't kill him...calm down." He switched to the NBC Denver affiliate, and sure enough, there it was, a confirmation. The US  had taken out Osama Bin Laden. I was not expecting the flood of emotions... feelings of relief, exuberance, guilt at feeling exuberance, national pride for the elite unit that took Bin Laden out, and satisfaction that it happened under the watch of  President Barack Obama. Then more guilt for being so shallow.
As we watched report after report, and witnessed the gathering crowds outside the White House and other locations around the country, I couldn't shake a little bit of the 'ick' I was feeling at feeling so celebratory over the death of another human being . My son from New York called to double check that the stuff he was reading on his Blackberry wasn't a hoax. My sister called from the neighboring town to make sure I was watching the news. I exchanged texts with friends from California. We communicated much the same way we did after we got the news of Sept. 11, family and friends pulling together and checking in with each other just because that's what we do. All of the feelings attached to September 11 were right up on the surface again.
I guess that's where I'm going with this. I'd prefer to put my energy and effort into an homage to remember the victims and families of September 11 today. The world changed, and for a kid who was raised in the late 50's and 60's and recalls 'duck and cover' drills, air raid sirens, and 'grown up' talk about the Bay of Pigs, a big slap of reality I hadn't experienced since childhood hit front and center that day. We lived such safe,comfy and ignorant  lives prior to  2001, so many of us disconnected from the rest of the world.
My family was lucky, and insulated. The losses we suffered had degrees of separation. I can only imagine the pain of losing loved ones, of the courage of first responders who ran INTO the burning and collapsing buildings, and actions of the passengers of  United Flight 93, who took action against the terrorists. Today, these are the people I want to fill my thoughts. Today I listened to a number of interviews of surviving family members, and to their varying viewpoints on last night's events. To everyone who has an opinion about the elimination of Bin Laden...I hope that there will be pause, and reflection, and at least a moment to remember and honor the victims of September 11, and prior to that, the 17 victims of the USS Cole attack.  It doesn't matter if we agree or disagree. We can pick up where we left off tomorrow, or the next day, but just for now, let's not focus on the bad guys. Let's remember the heroes. Let's honor the victims, and let's not forget that for a little while, we were united.