Strange tale...or not.

I'm so tired of hearing the same illogical arguments about our budget; cobbled together with Republican talking points, augmented by phony figures which defy common sense. When repeated enough times by people who really should know better, this crap takes on a life of its own. I used to work for a guy who loved to use 'the family budget' as an analogy for balancing our national budget and never missed the opportunity to give us his POV about living within our means. This same kind of  folksy mindset is alive and well in the brains of a whole lot of people who can't possibly be as disconnected as they sound.  They defend welfare for corporations while gutting medicare and social security to protect some sacrosanct ideology that they really don't fully understand. That's something I don't understand.
It makes as much sense as this...
Let's just say (just like the United States) you and partner are trying to stay afloat. You work, you pay bills, you cope with the rising cost of living. Your house needs repairs, sometimes you can pay cash, sometimes you charge it. Things wear out, you have to replace them. Kids need stuff, like food. Like shoes. Like coats. You cut back where you can, and hope you don't get sick. Prices keep going up, and it gets harder and harder to make ends meet. It's tough all over. You have a couple of brothers who've lost their jobs & homes, and, because it's family, you let them move into one of your spare rooms. They find temporary minimum wage work, and chip in what they can. They help around the house. They make a contribution. Then, out of the blue, you get a call from your two wealthy uncles, David and  Charles, who are bazillionaires; they tell you they're coming for an extended stay. Good deal, you think. We're all working really hard, and earning as much as we can. We're cutting waste. WE DON'T HAVE A SPENDING PROBLEM, WE HAVE A REVENUE PROBLEM. It will help when Chuck and Dave move in. We'll help each other.
 They own lots of big companies, and have a ton of cash, but for some strange reason, they want to hang out at your house. You know that they may be in a position to offer your brothers a job. They are 'job creators', so you pretty much lay down the welcome mat. They move into your home, but instead of being polite, they are ingrates. At the dinner table, they take all the food for themselves, and leave nothing for anyone else. They make messes, polluting your environment, and refuse to clean up after themselves. They do not respect your home, and leave unsafe situations for your children to stumble upon. They use all your hot water, run up your phone bill, leave all the lights on, leave piles of dirty dishes on the counter, filthy socks under the bed and refuse to take out the trash. When you ask them about a job for your brothers, they stall. Later, you find that  some of those long distance calls they've been making are for the purpose of hiring cheap labor offshore instead of helping the family and creating a job opportunity at home, even though it would help tremendously. When you ask them to pitch in, they are insulted that you would even ask, and demand to be given all the benefits of your hospitality, without making a contribution. Occasionally Charles or David will bring home the NY ballet to perform, host a tea party, or park a huge vinyl-wrapped diesel bus in your driveway, but that doesn't exactly help with the job situation, and it doesn't change the fact that they're living off your your hard work, using your resources to get richer, and not paying their share of the upkeep. They are absolutely taking way too many liberties with your hard earned money. They are certainly in a position to help out, but refuse, because they don't think they should have to. You realize that they are selfish, greedy, irresponsible and messy. What keeps you from shoving their self-serving asses out the door? Is it the thought that they might someday create jobs? Maybe? Not good enough. When you total up all the resources Charles and David burn through, vs. what they contribute- it's way out of balance. When you compare what they cost to the small amount of help you've extended to your brothers- there's no contest. Besides, you can make your bros pitch in and do the dishes. And you realize that with your bros, the more they work, the more they'll put money back in the household kitty. That is never going to happen with Uncle Charles and Uncle David unless you lay down some ground rules. But Chuck and Dave are so wealthy that they don't like ground rules. In fact, when you do try and lay down the law, you find out that they've  hired a couple of lobbyists, paid off some Congressmen, and brought in some pricey lawyers, so before you know it, it's not your home anymore, its theirs. You're out on your ass with your brothers, and guess what...no jobs for anyone. You've all been outsourced, and now your neighborhood is so toxic that no one can live there. Chuck and Dave are already off to drop in on the next unsuspecting relative. Does this sound remotely familiar?  If it isn't already too late, we really should kick those rotten Uncles to the curb, and make sure we take back our house. Then protect our Senate. Oh, yeah, and no more tea parties!

Jerry Sonnenberg (R-Sterling)... persona non grata

Well, it's like this...If you thought the Texas & Florida legislatures cornered the market on skeevy tactics, you'd be wrong. Some of our very own Colorado Repo's are giving bottom feeders in all other 49 states a run for their money.
This is what I've got my nightie in a knot about right now...SB11-258, the "Local Foods" bill will die today, because Chairman of the House Ag Committee, Jerry Sonnenberg, (R-Sterling) refused to hold a committee meeting, until it is too late.
In spite of pleadings from Ag Committee member Randy Fischer, (D-Ft. Collins) and the fact that Colorado residents traveled from all over the state in order to testify before the committee in support of the bill, Rep. Sonnenberg 'flatly refused' to hold the committee meeting until Wednesday, guaranteeing the bill will die, as there is a legislative rule requiring 24 hours between a bill's second and final readings.
Well, isn't that special. It's not all bad news, though, because we're getting a crystal clear picture of who stands up for us,and who refuses to. These Reps have your back: Ed Vigil, (D-San Luis) and Don Coram (R-Montrose), who were co-sponsors of the bill, Gail Schwartz (D-Snowmass Village) introduced the bill, and is a big advocate for the 'cottage industry food' movement. Randy Fischer, the good guy from Dist. 53 showed us what he's made of, and that he'll go to bat for the people of Colorado. All the people of Colorado, not just big Ag business. He fought a good fight. Hats off to you, Rep. Fischer! He also took the time to reply to email messages, and there were many sent.
If any of this pisses you off, make a call or send an email...this is the only way we'll ever get anyone's attention. Let them know you're watching and listening.
A footnote on this; while researching the members of the House Ag Committee, I found a couple of really frightening things, for instance: Jerry Sonnenberg is one of the six Republicans who voted against Civil Unions, (how proud will he be when history tells this story?)  and J.Paul Brown (R-Ignacio) Dist. 59, is a climate change denier, and was the lone vote against House Bill 1079, a non-controversial bill which passed 64 -1. It streamlined providing services to homeless youth. We're not sure why Brown voted against it, but it deserves an explanation. Good voting records, dudes!
Here's a list of email addresses and phone numbers for members of the House Ag Committee Members.  Remember, if you don't pay attention, who will?

Jerry Sonnenberg (R-Sterling) District 65;  303-866-3706    jerry@repsonnenberg.com
Marsha Looper (R-Calhan) District 19; 303-866-2946  marshalooper@gmail.com
Randy Baumgardner (R-Hot Sulphur Springs) District 57, 303-866-2949  randy.baumgardner@gmail.com
Matt Jones (D-Longmont) District 12, 303-866-2920 repmattjones@gmail.com
Roger Wilson (D-Glenwood Spgs) District 61, 303-866-2398 roger.wilson.house@state.co.us
Don Coram (R-Montrose) District 58, 303-866-2955 don.coram.house@state.co.us
J.Paul Brown (R-Ignacio) District 59, 303-866-2914 brownjpaul@yahoo.com
Glenn Vaad (R-Mead) District 48, 303-866-2943  glenn.vaad.house@state.co.us
Ray Scott (R-GJ) District 54, 303-866-3068 ray.scott.house@state.co.us
Wes McKinley (D-Walsh) District 64, 303-866-2398 wes.mckinley.house@state.co.us
Su Ryden (D-Aurora) District 36, 303-866-2942 su.ryden.house@state.co.us
Edward Vigil (D-San Luis) District 62, 303-866-2916 edward.vigil.house@state.co.us
Randy Fischer (D-Ft. Collins) District 53, 303-866-2917 randyfischer@frii.com

All politics is local, right?

Life with lost glasses

I watch way too much TV. I don't actually watch it all that much, but I'm kind of addicted to having a set on somewhere in the house so I can rely on it for background noise, and that way, not so much on the voices in my head.
Today, I'd sequestered myself in the den which meant I had to use the pink Hello Kitty television with the little tiny 13-inch screen. (Yes, it's MY Hello Kitty TV, not a leave-behind from a grown kid)
This wouldn't be a problem, except for scrolling through the TV guide on the minuscule 13-inch screen. It shouldn't have been a problem, except I didn't have my glasses. I'd left them in bed. My husband, who came home early because he wasn't feeling well, went to lie down, and promptly fell asleep on the last place I saw them. I wasn't about to wake him up to retrieve them, because then I might have to do something along the lines of a care-giving nature, and we weren't in the mood for that, Hello Kitty and I. We wanted some TV trash background noise on, while surfing Internet news to find the latest crimes the Repos are about to perpetrate against their fellow Americans, or learn the latest bit of shrill stupidity out of Sarah Palin's ignorant worthless lying mouth. Normally, I'd just turn on old crime show reruns, because I've seen them all and they provide noise without distraction, but my husband thinks I need to be in a 12-step program for Law & Order addicts. Not funny.
The problem, as I see it, or in this case can't see it, was trying to make some sense out of the blur which was the on-screen satellite guide. Even with my strongest high-power squint, I see something called  SPIT OF COLORADO  followed by LOOK YOGURT IN 14 DAYS.  I wonder if the Spit is like a saliva thing or it's a cooking show, and there's something on a rotisserie. Whatever, I don't want to look Yogurt. I hate Yogurt. Keep scrolling. I see BAD LINIMENT, WHEN VATICANS ATTACK, THE CATALOG, NUKED HER BREATH, ATOMIC BELLY, POWDER LAUNCH,  and  DON'T FORGET TO LICK IT.
OK, this totally sucks. I cowboy up, go in the bedroom and yank my glasses out from under the sleeping husband, then return to the screen. The titles I was squinting at actually read: SPIRIT OF COLORADO, LOOK YOUNGER IN 14 DAYS, BAD LIEUTENANT, WHEN VACATIONS ATTACK, THE CALLING, MARKED FOR DEATH, ATOMIC BETTY, POWER LUNCH and DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS.
Hmmm. Even optically-enhanced, there was nothing remotely interesting. No wonder so many people in town have thrown out their television machines. So here's the thing...even with my glasses on, the remaining show titles were just as weird as the ones I'd mis-read...PREGNANT IN HEELS, GROW BIGGER TOMATOES, CARVE ABS IN BED, BUBBLE GUPPIES, KILL IT, COOK IT, EAT IT. No Thanks, better to go back to TNT and keep the parade of  Law & Order reruns on. Now, if  only I could find a show called SHOOT IT, STUFF IT, OR MARRY IT, I'd be totally tuned in.

Another Re-tread Repo About To Announce

Oh boy, the fun never ends. Newt Gingrich is about to announce his 2012 Presidency bid on a Wednesday appearance on (what else?) Faux News' Hannity's Show of Horrors.
This is almost anti-climatic after he facebooks and twits it to death.
But seriously, Newt says he's "humbled by the all the encouragement". (I'm not encouraging that lying, cheating, creepy old fart, are you?)
I say with more than a dozen other GOP wanna-be's all exploring bids, the Gross Old Panderers are doing the equivalent of 'checking the sofa cushions for loose change' in search of a suitable candidate that can stand up to President Obama in 2012. Maybe they should just keep looking...
But let's see what new fresh ideas Nineties Newt comes up with. It better be good to combat all the personal  baggage he's dragging behind him. Wife dumping and multiple marriages, ethics charges, stepping down in '99...I'd say Newt has the dee-lux, fancy-assed matched set of personal baggage.
For all of us who are old enough to remember...watching the repos work this out ought to be an E-ticket ride, and I'm not talking about an electronic ticket, just dreaming of Disneyland.

Sick of this...

This time it's not politics, it's just the weather, and missing California.
We were teased with a couple of days of spring-like weather; the hills are getting green enough so the view from the deck makes me feel like putting on a dress and twirling around like Julie Andrews.

See...don't you just wanna belt out "The hills are alive..."
OK, me neither. Not really. I truly just want to get some vegetables planted, or go shopping, or sit in the sun, or find some trouble to get into. But after only two days of enjoying the spring-fake-out, just like clockwork, the weather rolls in again.
The sky gets dark and ominous, the thunder is so loud is scares the crap out of the dog, and up on the hill, this is the only thing we're inspired to do now...

Lay around and scan the carpet for pepperoni that fell off last night's pizza. Sad. So sad.
Adding to my misery, I play catch-up with friends and find out that my California pals did things like...see Hugh Jackman at the Curran in SF, take a trip to Yosemite, go for a day sail to Half Moon Bay. A reminder of what I'm missing.  My son in NY (who can get good Chinese food WHENEVER he wants it) spent his day off at the Brooklyn Museum.
Skipping back to Colorado, we're not without our own brand of excitement. My husband was all juiced up because he was headed out on a photo shoot...of a cattle drive. And locally, this was the weekend that had both the Sheep Dog trials at the Hotchkiss Fairgrounds, as well as the city-wide yard sale. Seriously, the whole town turns into a big yard sale over the weekend. Which is great if you're sick of your own useless crap and you want to buy some one else's. Me...not so much. I'm going to go out to the car to try and talk the dog out of leaving,

 then I'm going to see if I can find some more pepperoni.

Happy Mother's Day!

I have the coolest mother around. She's nearly 90, and she's still 'on it' for an old broad.
This photo says it for me...although later today, I plan on submitting it to awkward family photos, under both the awkward family heading and  awkward pets (the duck!)
The photo was taken in the spring of 1956. I was the baby, happily oblivious to how weird my family was.
Check out my sister's dolls...she's got a black one and a white one. They were her twins. Later, as an adult, I commented to my mother how cool it was that she bought my sister a black doll and a white doll. She looked at me like I was an idiot, and simply said, "Why wouldn't I?"
Happy Mother's Day, Lois.

Heads Up Colorado Residents...We need your support for SB11-258; The 'Local Foods, Local Jobs' Act

If you are a fellow Coloradan, we need your support on this one!
According to our friends at Slow Food Western Slope,  the 'Local Foods, Local Jobs' Act (SB11 - 258) will be heard in the House Ag. Committee this coming Monday, May 9 at 1:30PM. Your support is urgently needed to help get this through the Committee.
This bill is very important to both farmers and consumers in Colorado, as it creates provisions to allow small, local farms more freedom to bring certain low-risk prepared food to local markets.
Read the actual bill here http://www.leg.state.co.us/CLICS/CLICS2011A/csl.nsf/MainBills?openFrameset
If you are concerned about food safety, spending 5 minutes on the FDA's list of recalled food is all it takes to see that the foods that pose the biggest safety risks are not those grown by small, local farms. See the recall list here:  http://www.fda.gov/Safety/Recalls/default.htm
 This bill is a great step in the right direction, will have a positive impact on our local economy, and help connect people to their farmers. When quality and safety are the greatest concerns, it's well-known that a closer connection between farm and table result in greater accountability and consumer input. In an economic climate that has seen more and more small and family farms struggle and lose business to corporate giants, this bill gives us a chance to do something right.


You can email the whole committee using these addresses:
jerry@repsonnenberg.com, marshalooper@gmail.com,randy.baumgardner@gmail.com,
 repmattjones@gmail.com, roger.wilson.house@state.co.us, don.coram.house@state.co.us,
 brownjpaul@yahoo.com, glenn.vaad.house@state.co.us, ray.scott.house@state.co.us
 wes.mckinley.house@state.co.us, su.ryden.house@state.co.us, edward.vigil.house@state.co.us,
 randyfischer@frii.com

Phone numbers:
Rep. Sonnenberg: 303-866-3706
Rep. Looper: 303-866-2946
Rep. Baumgardner: 303-866-2949
Rep. Jones: 303-866-2920
Rep. Wilson: 303-866-2398
Rep. Coram (co-sponsor of bill): 303-866-2955 Rep. Brown: 303-866-2914 Rep. Vaad: 303-866-2943 Rep. Scott: 303-866-3068 Rep. McKinley: 303-866-2398 Rep. Ryden: 303-866-2942 Rep. Vigil (co-sponsor of bill): 303-866-2916 Rep. Fischer: 303-866-2917



If you call or email, please let them know who you are, where you're from, and be sure and express your support for 'Local Foods, Local Jobs' Act (SB11-258). Ask them to support the bill when it comes up for their vote, because the bill will encourage job growth, allow consumers the freedom to purchase products made with quality ingredients grown locally, promote Colorado agritourism, and allow local growers to be more profitable by utilizing surplus production.

Some fools just deserve to have their hard drives fried...

One of the items on the news today was a warning from the FBI, alerting people not to open emails currently circulating that claim to have a video or photos showing the killing of Osama Bin Laden. Another version appeals to the conspiracy nuts, and promises to show a picture of Bin Laden holding a current newspaper; the purpose being to discredit President Obama.  Of course, they are fakes, and the attachment contains a virus with malware that will embed itself into a user's system, attach to contact lists and capture personal information.
My thoughts...anyone who is either so whacked out that they would be interested in watching a 'death video', or dumb enough to think that they'll find credible 'proof'  of anything in an email message deserves whatever computer damage that comes their way. If enough of these jerk-offs actually get their systems shut down for a little while, maybe we just won't have to listen to so many insane theories.
And another thing... It seems a disproportionate number of news media personnel have had difficulties confusing 'Osama' and 'Obama' during all the recent frenetic broadcasting. I contend that the ones who do wouldn't have this problem if they were in the habit of showing the least amount of respect to the current president; and had been using a title preceding his name. If a 'Mr.' or 'President' had been incorporated into speech patterns, you can bet your ass they wouldn't be mixing up the Commander in Chief with the recently deceased murderous fugitive. I'm just sayin...

Remembering the heroes of Sept. 11...what taking the bad guy down meant to me.

Every news article, every post, every blog  today has been focused on the same topic; the death of Osama Bin Laden. Different perspectives; a wide range of emotions, but everyone has something to say,  because this feels big, to different individuals for different reasons.
I stumbled on the news accidentally last night only because the batteries died in my remote control. I had been happily watching AMC, and had to repeatedly smack the remote when it was time to change channels, which inadvertently flipped me to a Fox station, where I recognized Giraldo. Reflexively I started yelling and waving the remote around like it had snot on it, trying to get any other channel on, when the crawler  on the bottom of the screen became visible, stating that Bin Laden had been killed. Because it was Fox, I immediately thought it was a scam, so I ran into the living room where my husband was engrossed in an action movie. "Osama Bin Laden has been killed and I can't get Fox off the TV in the bedroom!", I screamed  at him.
He turned around and looked at me like I had just set fire to the dog. "Well, hell, I didn't kill him...calm down." He switched to the NBC Denver affiliate, and sure enough, there it was, a confirmation. The US  had taken out Osama Bin Laden. I was not expecting the flood of emotions... feelings of relief, exuberance, guilt at feeling exuberance, national pride for the elite unit that took Bin Laden out, and satisfaction that it happened under the watch of  President Barack Obama. Then more guilt for being so shallow.
As we watched report after report, and witnessed the gathering crowds outside the White House and other locations around the country, I couldn't shake a little bit of the 'ick' I was feeling at feeling so celebratory over the death of another human being . My son from New York called to double check that the stuff he was reading on his Blackberry wasn't a hoax. My sister called from the neighboring town to make sure I was watching the news. I exchanged texts with friends from California. We communicated much the same way we did after we got the news of Sept. 11, family and friends pulling together and checking in with each other just because that's what we do. All of the feelings attached to September 11 were right up on the surface again.
I guess that's where I'm going with this. I'd prefer to put my energy and effort into an homage to remember the victims and families of September 11 today. The world changed, and for a kid who was raised in the late 50's and 60's and recalls 'duck and cover' drills, air raid sirens, and 'grown up' talk about the Bay of Pigs, a big slap of reality I hadn't experienced since childhood hit front and center that day. We lived such safe,comfy and ignorant  lives prior to  2001, so many of us disconnected from the rest of the world.
My family was lucky, and insulated. The losses we suffered had degrees of separation. I can only imagine the pain of losing loved ones, of the courage of first responders who ran INTO the burning and collapsing buildings, and actions of the passengers of  United Flight 93, who took action against the terrorists. Today, these are the people I want to fill my thoughts. Today I listened to a number of interviews of surviving family members, and to their varying viewpoints on last night's events. To everyone who has an opinion about the elimination of Bin Laden...I hope that there will be pause, and reflection, and at least a moment to remember and honor the victims of September 11, and prior to that, the 17 victims of the USS Cole attack.  It doesn't matter if we agree or disagree. We can pick up where we left off tomorrow, or the next day, but just for now, let's not focus on the bad guys. Let's remember the heroes. Let's honor the victims, and let's not forget that for a little while, we were united.

Who ya gonna call...Ron Paul?

Why do we never ever hear libertarians and anti-government types talk about HOW they would handle those pesky little details that government agencies deal with like, oh... disaster relief, air and water quality, food safety, basic infrastructure (roads, bridges, sewers, water supply, electrical grids, etc.) and the biggest question of all...why oh why do they want so badly to be on the payroll and be part of the evil federal government that they allegedly want to do away with?
Why do the tea party members of congress take advantage of their dreaded 'government run' health care?
Why did the Koch Brothers already apply for the corporate benefits they can receive under the President's health care legislation when they funded so many of the protests against it? Doesn't that all sound a little hypocritical?
When did the inmates start running the asylum? The voices we hear droning on endlessly about less government used to be considered the the 'crazy fringe', but because of the dumbing down and laziness of so many voters, combined with manipulation of campaign laws that have allowed the unlimited flow of corporate dollars into our political system, we have lost our perspective. Have we forgotten that over the years, we've enacted laws, created infrastructure, and a social safety net because of need and necessity? One of the biggest problems we have with the dumbing down of the population is that the generation who didn't have a safety net is dying off- and not enough people remember what life was like before. We outsource jobs to places like China and India and Mexico not only because of the cheap labor, but because corporations can basically pollute their environment at the levels we refuse to accept. Or used to.
Hey, libertarians and tea party, wanna trade air quality with China? Care to drink the water in Mexico?
How exchanging standards of living with most of the population in India?
Think this through. Remember where we came from. The tea party is so fond of putting on silly clothes and reenacting history. Let's check in and see if they want to reenact 1929? Maybe they'd like to switch off Faux News, get out of their Lazyboys, and stand in a breadline...Because that's where the anti-government whack jobs want to take this. They're clear about it. They want to starve the federal government out of existence. "Drown it in the bathtub" was the infamous quote.
 Ask yourself some serious questions about what kind of a country you want to be a part of, and who should be the stewards...you who don't trust the government are so eager to hand over your futures to corporate thieves. Are you thinking that Americans for Prosperity really, truly has your back?
Are you thinking that the Koch's (who've donated one hundred million dollars to right-wing causes... cue the mmmwwwhaaaa...evil laugh and mustache twirling...hey, it fits.) really care about any one's prosperity but their own?
This is a serious wake up call...someone needs to knock on the doors and maybe the brains of these yokels who buy into the notion of less government, and ask them what that  it really looks like.
WHAT EXACTLY DOES LESS GOVERNMENT LOOK LIKE?
This is especially relevant in light of the latest natural disasters.
Your house is washed away. Or blown down. Your kids are missing. Who ya gonna call?
Your house is on fire. Who ya gonna call?
Your roads are destroyed. Who ya gonna call?
Those are just 'natural' disasters...what about the ones created by the good corporate stewards of the environment? We know what happens when the fox watches the hen house. But let's look again...
You have no clean water to drink.  It's been polluted by the mill down the road. (Oh, wait, that happened) Who ya gonna call?
You have no safe food to eat. Corporate farmers have taken too many shortcuts, are giving you unsafe eggs, meat, veggies (Oh wait, that happened) Who ya gonna call?
You have no clean air to breathe. The chemical plant down the road is spewing out toxins.(Oh wait, that happened, too) Who ya gonna call?
The company you work for refuses to pay you for the work you've done. Who ya gonna call?
You've been hurt on the job because your employer put you at high risk to save money and increase their margins. Who ya gonna call?
Then there are those little social  or safety net issues that just refuse to go away...
You have no access to a doctor or hospital. You have no medical benefits, your company cut them years ago.You're hurt or sick. There are no more public hospitals. Who ya gonna call?
Your mother is ill. You have no money to pay for her care, because your employer doesn't have to pay you a living wage. Who ya gonna call?
Your crazy Uncle Vern ( a war vet) is out on the street again, putting himself and possibly others at risk...you can't handle him yourself, and need professional help. He's suffering because of injuries sustained during the service to his country. Now he needs help. Who ya gonna call?
The kids down the street don't have enough to eat; both their parents' jobs have been outsourced, and they're in trouble. The food bank has been exhausted. Who are they gonna call?

It's as if we've collectively forgotten why we evolved. Sure, there are regs that need to be tweaked and waste that needs to be eliminated, but everything the GOP has told us is crap. The Bush tax cuts haven't stimulated anything in the economy except excessive luxury spending for the top 1%,  and a whole bunch of corporate donations to try and weaken the federal government. A good number of this current bunch of corporate citizens are the most unpatriotic, greedy bunch of  rat bastards ever...just look at how many didn't pay any income taxes at all vs. the obscene profits they're raking in.
Regulations exist for a reason. I think one of the problems we still deal with is the fact that a lot of the teeth were taken out of the penalties during past administrations...If we lobbied to rewrite corporate charters, and made CEO's personally culpable for violations committed by the companies they run, we'd see changes.
I don't guess things will change until the population smartens up and finally sees that what's best for corporate America is not what's best for all of America.
Oh yeah, and until we collectively tell the crazy-conspiracy-talkers, race-baiters, and tea baggers all to go to hell.

Who has the guts to take on Grover Norquist for real?

Even if you're on the same side as the Demos, it's really hard not to be perpetually pissed off at them, because, with a few exceptions, they've allowed the thuggish bunch at the GOP to control the dialog on way too many issues. Seriously, Dems...how long are you going to keep getting pushed around before you fight back? Really fight?
The whole political climate has deteriorated into schoolyard crap. Can't anyone think back into the basic rules...OK, I admit I can't exactly draw on my own experiences as a kid...different generation,...different rules of civility...whatever it was,that was then...no matter how wonderful it would be to go back and make nice, it's not going to happen. Not with these guys.  My eyes weren't opened to the bullying thing until my kids were in school, but the take-away lesson for us was that bullies don't pick on kids that refuse to be victimized, and that frequently, bullies are often being picked on by someone who is wielding power over them.
If the GOP are the bullies of the House and Senate, and the TP'ers are the pathetic toadies who hang out with them and do their bidding, it's the corporate puppet masters who control them all. Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious. Sad thing is that while the old school GOP guys know it; the toady TP'ers still think they're going to be in control, and that the ignorant voters who would rather watch faux news than think for themselves are going to be OK when their medicare and social security gets kicked to the curb because that's the way Grover Norquist wants it. Grover's the guy (head of Americans for Tax Reform) who got every single Repo to sign his pledge to never, ever raise taxes, or eliminate tax deductions or credits. Grover's particular group of thugs is funded mainly by big tobacco and other corporate interests. Unlike some members of the GOP, their aim is transparent, to choke the government out of existence by cutting off spending. A new development is that one of the gang of six, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma), has finally taken issue with this blind following...and has the guts to actually stray from the company line. (popular repo talking point: "We don't have a revenue problem, we have a spending problem." ...Heads up! You guys also have a credibility problem.)
The fact that he was wanted to explore an end to wasteful ethanol subsidies has the bully Norquist DEMANDING that Senator Coburn drop out of the 'gang of six'. Oh Grover, you don't like it when one of your own dares to call you out!
Even the concept of a dialog on the topic of raising revenues has these toadies and thugs acting like a bunch of spoiled brats. I say it's time for the 'gang of six' to start acting more like a gang, and go to the mat for the American citizens they're supposed to represent... not the corporations that Grover Norquist shills for. Stand up to these thugs and toadies...how long is it going to take you guys to understand that the bullies can't keep going after everyone's lunch money (social security, medicare) before some strange alliances form to beat the crap (metaphorically of course) out of the creeps who rule the schoolyard by instilling fear and telling lies.

DOMA?? Are you kidding...The REAL threat to marriage is the GOP!

I just read that King & Spaulding, the law firm hired by the House of Representatives to defend DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) has quit. The firm had agreed to work on behalf of the GOP-led House after the Obama Administration announced that the DOJ will no longer defend the law; stating it is unconstitutional.
Despite the price tag of continuing (upwards of 500,000...a drop in the bucket, I know, but let's stand on principle here) Speaker John Boehner's office clarified that Paul Clement, the lead attorney (who resigned from King & Spaulding over their choice to withdraw) and his new firm, Bancroft PLLC will still defend DOMA for the House of Representatives.
Your tax dollars at work.
Let's get this straight. The GOP leadership, those elephants in the room who constantly trumpet about fiscal responsibility, cutting waste, the importance of smaller, less intrusive government, the need to make job creation a priority, and the ever-important family values has chosen the Defense of Marriage Act fight as another 'defining moment'. Defense of Marriage? I can't believe anyone with a brain doesn't look at this and not see a civil rights issue. (Somewhere, Jesse Helms is gleefully rubbing his hands together) I guess the Repos will never get it.
With all due respect, you BOZO's in the GOP, by the miserable hypocritical example so many of you set, pose a much larger threat to marriage than any same-sex union ever could.
In my mind, it's perfectly acceptable to point out all the failings of Republican members, as they have declared themselves owners of the moral high ground; the party of 'family values', plus- they're the ones who came up with this whole BS concept that marriage was something that needed to be defended in the first place.
Oh, yeah, and the fact that their members get caught cheating at almost a 3 to 1 ratio when compared to Democrats speaks volumes.
So...here's a few of the examples we should all follow if we want to defend our traditional family values...
Start with former Speaker Newt Gingrich. He believes in marriage so much, he just can't stop wife-dumping so he can engage in the sacred process...again, and again, and again. Trouble is he cheats with the new ones before he's done with the old ones. Admirable. Then we've got the amazing disappearing Gov. Mark Sanford, who took off for six days on a 'retreat' only to be holed up with his Argentinian paramour. Good goin' Gov! Who can forget former Idaho Senator Larry "I have a wide-stance" Craig...busted for soliciting sex in the airport men's room. Another anti-gay rights guy, too. While we're talking about busted in the boy's room, there's former Florida State Representative Robert Allen, who also got caught bargaining for a BJ in the men's room. And Florida is famous for Mark Foley, the former Congressman who was forced to resign in the gay-page-texting-scandal. There's David Vitter, Louisiana Senator who was caught up in the DC madam scandal, but was better known for his diaper fetish. See, it's all about family values. He probably just missed his kids, right?  Married with children and known for his anti-gay rights campaign rhetoric, VA Congressman Ed Schrock also got caught leading a secret gay life-which is just plain sad. These guys should STFU and be who they are instead of trying to steal the rights away from others. The marriage-is-sacred hypocrites couldn't shut up either...seems Dan Burton and Henry Hyde, both huge critics of Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky, were both guilty of the same dirty deeds. Seems that Republican Bob Livingston, who was tapped to replace Newt Gingrich after he was forced to resign as Speaker of the House, also had to step down after an admitted affair. Speaking of stepping down...the latest Repo to hit the dust is Nevada Senator John Ensign, whose affair with a former staffer involved quite an elaborate cover-up and pay-offs.
My point is...you guys got nothin'. Except pandering to bunch of homophobic morons. Ummm, would that be your base? (pandering...pimping...you decide) You could take the moral high road and come down on the side of what's right...or you could do what we know you do best. Should be about 5 minutes till the next men's room bust.  

It's official...I've stayed too long at the fair...

I started this blog for purely selfish reasons; to document the transition from California Girl to life in a rural mountain town in Colorado. Leaving the comfort of a suburban Bay Area community where everything is within an easy commute (well, perhaps not so easy)  to settling in to a tiny town where not much is familiar, and being self-sufficient is far more valuable than being fashionable.
There was no question my mindset had changed when I saw an advertising tag line the other day that said,
"Pick up a new clutch for spring!"
and this is what I thought of ...

I should explain that auto parts are not generally the first thing that pop into my mind, but lately I've been obsessing about getting the snow tires off the car. I am so ready for spring, but instead of thinking of floral dresses and new shoes, the way I would have in CA, I'm all over getting those damn tires off the car, and getting vegetables planted.
After that's done, maybe I'll think about acquiring this kind of clutch...

Or not. I'm not sure it would go with my new work gloves.

Living Social..but not with truth in advertising

Is EVERYBODY getting blitz-attacked by 'Living Social' ads, customized for their home town? I usually kind of filter this crap out, (disclosure- I did sign up for Groupon when they first started advertising) But these Living Social ads are ubiquitous...you can't get away from them. It's a multimedia blitz... they're on every news page, random physical spots, TV- I was kind of surprised not to see them on my roll of toilet paper this morning. I'm mostly OK with advertising...lots of it provides good entertainment, or serves as a reflection as to where society's values really are. Listening to the side effects detailed on the pharma ads is good for a laugh any time. (watch for sudden drop in blood pressure, dizziness, vomiting, headaches, numbness and sometimes death...oh, no, not death?)  But these Living Social ads are bugging me because they're purposely misleading. Mine pop up daily with teasers like..."Get 50%  off the Best Food in Hotchkiss"  or "Save on the Best Restaurants in Hotchkiss" So...what's wrong with that? .....Uuuummm.... REALITY.
Hotchkiss is not known for good restaurants. They had one Chinese Restaurant (it's closed now) but it was pretty scary. In fact, when you mentioned you were going for Chinese food in Hotchkiss, locals would roll their eyes and say, "Oooooooohhhhhh. are you sure?" There is one pretty good place where you can get burgers, but the other places  in town consist of a bar, the gas station/convenience store and the Elks Club, which attracts patrons in with their signage....

I'm not sure what a "Smoothered Steak" is, but I checked both sides of the sign and it read the same on both the front and back. 
I'm not seeing anything like this on the Living Social ads.
The other signage I recently found in town was a sandwich board outside the aforementioned bar that serves food. I couldn't get a picture of this because the pink chalk it was written in wouldn't show up, but it read
75% TACOS
I think what they meant to say was 75 cent tacos, but here in Hotchkiss, you can never be sure. If they did mean 75% Tacos, I'm really curious about what the other 25% would be. So I don't care that Living Social is in my face all day, every day, trying to get me to sign up- I just wish their marketing staff would spend a little time studying demographics before they go balls out. Really. You don't know Hotchkiss. If you did, you would know that the best food in town is at my sister's house, and I don't need to sign up to get a discount there.

Gov. Perry...putting the ASS in Tex-ASS

I'm sorry that Texas is dealing with raging wildfires- the harm to innocent people and property damage is immense. That said, I want to hear some ass-kissing and serious groveling on the part of Gov. Rick Perry, who is, again, asking for federal assistance. You remember Rick Perry, who HATES the federal government, and went on the record back in 2009, affirming the Texas wing-nuts' right to secede from the union. Too bad they weren't successful, huh?
Perry hates federal assistance so much that Texas is listed as the #1 recipient of disaster relief on the FEMA website. http://www.fema.gov/news/disaster_totals_annual.fema
It's not the fact that Texas receives disaster relief. That's why FEMA exists. It's the fact that he bitches about the feds at every opportunity, and I have yet to hear him say thank you, or acknowledge that Texas has had their ass saved by the feds on numerous occasions.
Kind of reminds me of the teenager across the street, who bitches about what asshats his parents are, how stupid they are, how their values suck, how they're messing up everything for everybody, but whenever he wants a few bucks he's right there with his hand out.
I bet I know what kind of kid Rick Perry was.

How I got this way...or the story of my 'Pre PC' anatomy lesson

Way back when I was little, in the late 50's; there was no such thing as political correctness. Some would say that's good, some would say not. It is what it is...at any rate, I came from an odd family that was always facing the kind of culture clash that occurs when a snotty intellectual type from NY marries a very grounded but modest Midwesterner. There were three kids in our family, and when I was in Kindergarten we moved to a suburb on the SF Peninsula, where my dad worked as a newspaper editor. My mother was a stay-at-home mom, and responsible for 99% of our upbringing- including how we treated each other. I need to explain that we were indeed a modest family. If I asked a question about anything of a 'delicate' nature, my mother would give me precisely the information I asked for...nothing more; nothing less. I should also explain that I was not particularly an inquisitive kid, except when it came to the issues of candy corn and Soupy Sales. I had no particular interest in human anatomy, and never having seen anyone else in my family naked, (especially not my older brother or father) I assumed all humans were created like I was. But seriously, I never thought about it much. I was four, and there were other things to think about, like candy corn, and Soupy Sales. I started Kindergarten in 1959, and a couple of days before I was to start school, my mother sat me down for a talk. Not about birds and bees...oh no- she wanted to talk about the proper way to treat my classmates. Here's why... There was a family down the street that had three kids the same ages as the kids in our family. All the kids on the street played together, divided by age groups more than anything else. We all knew that there was something different about the family, but in my house, you weren't allowed to say the word retarded. I remember that sometimes a few of the kids on the street called them names, but mostly everyone just got along. We all knew that the three kids in that family were retarded, but like I said, we didn't use that word at my house. Maybe because my older brother also had a handicap, maybe because my parents agreed on the issue of how to treat other people- anyway, that's what my mother wanted to talk to me about before I started Kindergarten. She told me that Randy (the kid in the family who was close to my age) was going to be in my kindergarten class, and that I must never be mean to him or call him names, no matter what he did, or what the other kids did in class. She referred to him as special, once she said he was a little different, but she basically let me know that it was kind of my responsibility to have his back, because he lived right down the street and we all played together. So, I knew what she said. (special) I also knew what the word on the street was (retarded) even if that wasn't my word. Skip ahead a few months...nothing that traumatic happened. Randy fit in fine, because hell, it's kindergarten and it's 1959 and kindergartners back then weren't subjected to the kind of academic stress that they are now. We colored, we napped on mats, we drank little cartons of milk that had been delivered early in the morning and were kind of lukewarm by the time we got them. We sang songs about the alphabet and at least once a week, just for excitement, some kid would throw up. The kids in the neighborhood kept playing together, and I pretty much forgot about my mother's lecture. Until one day when Randy and I were playing on the swing set in my backyard. OK, Randy's social skills weren't the greatest. One second we were swinging to see who could get the highest, and the next second,without a word, he had disappeared. When I figured out he wasn't coming back, I went to find him, which I did, in our gravel side yard, with his dungarees around his ankles, peeing on our galvanized garbage can. HOLY SHIT! WHAT WAS THAT THING HE WAS USING TO PEE WITH? Just to be sure the universe hadn't changed, I checked my own panties. Nothing. I looked again. There it was, unmistakable. Hell, I thought to myself. I've never seen ANYTHING like that before. EVER! Then, in a blinding glimpse of the obvious...I got it. I remembered my mother telling me he was different. Yeah, she said special, but I knew the kids on the street said retarded. OK, now it all made sense. Having a reasonable explanation, I filed this information away in my four-year-old brain; never told anyone, never asked about it. I had pretty much forgotten about the whole thing until about a year later when one of the reporters who worked for my dad and his wife had come over to our home for dinner with their brand new baby. I was fascinated with the baby. Being the youngest kid, I didn't recall having contact with a tiny human up close and personal before. This baby, Philip, was absolutely the cutest thing I had ever seen, and I followed Philip and his mother around all evening. As was the custom in 1960, the men sat in the living room and smoked, and the women did all the work. After the dishes were done, the moms took Philip to the bedroom to change him and put him down for a nap. Of course I was on it, delighted with the activities. Until the diaper came off. OH MY GOD! Horrified, I dragged my mother out of the room and down the hall, out of earshot. "Why didn't you tell me Philip was retarded?" I demanded. Yikes, the word just slipped out. I was far too concerned to even gauge my mother's reaction. "What are you talking about?" She looked at me in complete confusion. "He has one of those retarded things...in his diapers- like Randy!" And out came the story of Randy peeing on our garbage can, and what he had in his pants. To this day, I don't ever remember my mother laughing this much. Sometime during all my distress, in the next few minutes, she explained the difference in male and female anatomy, seeming genuinely surprised that I didn't already know there was a difference. Of course, she delivered the information in the same down to earth manner she delivered every other piece of info. Nothing more, nothing less. It became a big joke. I don't think she ever reprimanded me for the retarded reference- that really would have messed me up. I do remember eavesdropping later that night and hearing my father say that if I grew up with an attitude about male intelligence, it would be understandable. Truth to tell, it's not male intelligence I have attitude about...it's just some intelligence. Mostly now, it's about the people who believe Fox News.

Our founding fathers never had air-conditioned buses...

I'm no fun to be around when I'm pissed off. And in spite of what I considered a great speech by President Obama yesterday, I'm still mostly pissed off about Paul Ryan's budget proposal, and the influence of the tea baggers in general.

It's this whole idea they have of privatizing gains and socializing losses- and the fact that the tea party movement seems to be driving this train.

How in heaven's name did such scoundrels get elected, and why, oh why do so many people vote against their own best interests?

You absolutely cannot reason with some of these idiots. It doesn't matter that BofA, Citigroup, Exxon, Wells Fargo, and GE paid less in federal income taxes than the average American family. It doesn't matter that the tax rate is lower than its been in decades. All they can do is yammer on about less government, and hang on to little bits of phony information that has been hammered into their brains by the likes of Glen Beck or Rush Limbaugh.

When these guys gather, they like to make references to our founding fathers, and speak about tyranny, and the big ugly intrusive government. But wait, these are mostly the same guys who want to tell me what to do with my uterus, and never mind that a ton of corporate money paid to put their fat butts in big comfy bus seats, where they can drive to assemblies and get as fired up as sophomores at a high school pep rally. Never mind that a whole bunch of these people are social security and medicare recipients. Forget that they somehow buy into the idea that 'Americans for Prosperity' has their best interest at heart, and the Koch brothers are concerned with anything except increasing their own wealth and power, and that many of them will get seriously screwed if Paul Ryan gets anything remotely close to what he's proposing. What's especially frightening is that these people exist in a vacuum. They don't talk to others outside their own group. They get their 'news' from Fox Entertainment, so they're really clueless as to the difference between fact and fiction. (if you repeat something enough, and use a blackboard- yikes, it's real!)

By the way...a bunch of conservative pundits are coming down on the President for being too harsh and personal in his speech yesterday. Some said it was a 'bitch slap' to Rep. Ryan. And the problem is...? If anyone ever deserved a bitch slap...it's anyone affiliated with the train wreck that has taken over the GOP. The American people should all be waiting in line to slap some sense into every single Republican and conservative Democrat who would consider, even for a second, supporting a budget that is so clearly detrimental to middle class and poor Americans.

Here's a link to Paul Ryan's email... https://paulryan.house.gov/Contact/ContactForm.htm?Zip=53140&Zip4 Of course, you're only supposed to use it if you're one of his constituents, but hell- I figure since his budget proposal is going to affect a lot more Americans than the ones living in Racine, rules don't matter. Please- send him a message and tell him what you think of his plan.

And while you're at it, please ask any tea party member you may know...When, exactly did we become a country that has to starve our children and deprive our elderly in order to pay our debts? Would these idiots really have us believe that it's Grandma's doctor visit or the kid down the street who gets a school lunch that's caused this problem? (BUSH TAX CUTS....2 wars...plus, Where are all those jobs that the beneficiaries of the tax breaks were going to create??? And the bastards want MORE???)

Seriously, how can we get mad at the President when we're not making as much noise and getting as much attention as these pinheads who screwed things up so badly in the first place and want another run at it? Does anyone out there remember the surplus we had when Bush took office? Maybe too many people are too busy sniffing exhaust fumes from those big Koch-financed buses...

How to lose friends and alienate people...

Here's a blinding glimpse of the obvious...We're an overweight country. Come on, we're a nation that brags about deep-frying Snickers bars; how did we think this mini-drama was going to play out? We eat the wrong stuff, and too much of it. Adding to our misery; far too often, we don't get off our butts and move enough. This is something I know about firsthand. I just polished off a burrito for breakfast, blew off my morning walk, and now plan on spending the next 2 hours parked on my fat ass reading about the awful things that everyone else is doing, so I can complain about them later. Really. Maybe I'll take a break in a few minutes to get some cheesy puffs, but only if it's not too much trouble to walk to the kitchen. Some people are making totally decent, well-intentioned efforts to deal with the problem. I think Michelle Obama and her endeavors to educate children and parents on making healthier choices belong in this category. The operative word here is CHOICE. (On the other hand, Sarah Palin's snarky efforts to mis-quote and misrepresent her actions have made it easy to keep front and center the fact that Sarah has raised being a sham to an art form.) Some mornings, you sit down to the daily news and see that sometimes, people who allegedly have the best intentions end up doing things that are so stupid they alienate those who would otherwise be supporters, and actually turn people away from the very cause they're fighting for. I'm talking about the Little Village Academy, a public school on Chicago's west side, and the decision of Principal Elsa Carmona to no longer allow students to bring their lunches from home. That's right, if you happen to be enrolled in Little Village Academy, and you want to eat lunch, you're forced to eat the crap they serve up on campus. Ms. Carmona explained that the decision was made after she observed the poor choices some students were making. (soft drinks and flaming hot chips) Evidently, after experiencing the choices made by the district's food provider, Chartwells-Thompson, some students decided it was better to simply skip lunch entirely. The 'healthy' lunches served up are considered inedible by many, and the school's choice to ban lunches from home has outraged students, parents, and a variety of observers. This was a really dumb thing to do, on many levels. First off...Ms. Carmona should remember that she is in the business of 'educating' people. If she wants to set a good example, accomplish the goal to get kids to eat healthier, and truly make some changes that will last, she should have set out to educate both students and parents on easy and economical ways they could make better food choices. There is lots of support out there for this kind of thinking. There are lots of people who are doing it right. She could have followed the successful leads of Michelle Obama, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, or David Zinczenko's 'Eat This, Not That'. She could have led the kids on a path that would have empowered them, and their parents to make smarter choices rather than dictating policy that is surely in process of backfiring in her face. The fact that, given the problem, her best solution was to outlaw home-packed lunches leaves me with the realization that this is another example of why some schools are in deep trouble. If this is the kind of brain trust responsible for making choices in today's tough environment, we're screwed. Not only did she miss a great teachable moment and the opportunity to have a positive impact on a serious issue, but her solution has a questionable motive. In a district with a significant number of low-income children, the issue of cost for school provided lunches is part of the problem. A non-subsidized cost of $2.25 per meal per day is simply more than many families can afford. If they do qualify for assistance, then guess what? Federal dollars get kicked in to...wait for it...the food provider; Chartwells. Isn't that special? Maybe in reality, people can do more with their own dollars, and instead of just putting the hammer down and saying it's my way or the highway, we could use a little imagination and intelligence and provide the tools to help parents who may not know about better nutrition. Besides the fact that this is one of those sneaky-funnel-public-dollars-into-private-for-profit-businesses, this pisses me off because it's one of those incredibly stupid actions that will set the cause of fighting childhood obesity back years. On top of everything else...it's a bad financial decision. The fact that so many of the cafeteria meals are ending up in the trash and not providing better nutrition is infuriating. How about they start penalizing the meal provider for all the food that's not fit to eat? I don't want to hear that if you're hungry, you'll eat. That's as much garbage as the folks at Chartwells are trying to dump on the plates at Little Village Academy. Take a look...http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/education/ct-school-lunch-2c.jpg-20110410,0,4595560.photo Funny how the photo snapped by the Chicago Tribune looks a hell of a lot different that the ones posted on the Chartwells website. It's ridiculous that this is going to set off the conservative wing-nut voice boxes again, ranting about the 'nanny state' and lumping everyone who wants to address the obesity problem in with this group of idiots in Chicago. There are a whole bunch of us, lib-left-wing types who think that this is one of the worst decisions ever. Stupid is stupid. This one is so dumb, it made me lose my appetite.

Can't we just shut down the tea party instead?

With the government on the verge of shutting down, ( I blame the tea baggers and the Republicans who don't have the balls to stand up to them) reading examples of ridiculously stupid legislation is enough to make a girl scream. (As long as it's not against a city noise ordinance to do so.) While the Demos and Repos are battling it out in Washington, I'm finding my patience for BS is wearing thin. First thing I heard that made me want to find the nearest oil and gas lobbyist and pee on his toothbrush, was this insulting ad they're running almost every hour, on one of the two radio stations I can actually receive in this remote area. It's a load of crap that goes something like, "Who do you trust to make Colorado's energy decisions? Coloradans or bureaucrats in Washington DC???" And they say Washington DC like they're referring to Transylvania. Shame on them. Where in hell are those damn oil and gas lobbyists spending so much time? Could it be Washington?? Do ya think? Exactly what are they trying to pull? How stupid do they think we are? Furthermore, they should show some respect for our nation's capital. This is why I am so sick and tired of the stupid tea bagging idiots, too. When they disrespect the government, they disrespect the American people. Where exactly do those bureaucrats come from? Are they perhaps referring to uuummm, elected officials? The ones WE elected? Oh, those bureaucrats. We elected them, so shut up. And frankly, we've seen what happens when an industry takes control over legislation- just think back to Dick Cheney allowing oil execs to write energy policy...in secret. So, if I could just rub elbows with some of those smarmy lobbyists, I would absolutely excuse myself to go pee on something belonging to one of them...like a toothbrush. In fact, if we could ever get our hands on Dick Cheney's toothbrush, and auction off the opportunity to pee on that, it could be the hottest fundraising tool the Democrats ever had. But I guess that would be against the law. Speaking of laws... Here's more of what set me off this morning. The next little goodie was a blurb I read about how the legislation in South Carolina is proceeding to outlaw Sharia law. Yes, non-existent Sharia law. Again...Republicans are behind this...the ones who are so fiscally responsible. Idiots, wasting money on a non-existent threat. Then, there was a strange piece of legislation in Maine. I've been paying attention to Maine, because I have fantasies about moving there after the current governor's term is up (because he's repulsive) and the story had a weird enough headline to catch my attention. It seems that Maine is going to be the first state to make it legal for an amputee or otherwise one-armed person to own and use (in an emergency) a switchblade. My first thought was of a Maine version of West Side Story...being played out with one-armed gangsters wearing Mackinaws. I thought the whole idea was pretty dumb. Turns out there's a bit of logic behind it. The bill was originated by Paul Dumas, Jr. who argued that he is tired of opening his knife with his teeth, and " he can't react quick enough in emergencies when he needs to cut a piece of rope." Mr. Dumas is a horse-rider with one arm, and a legitimate need. If he were on federal land, he wouldn't have an issue, since federal law permits one-armed persons to carry switchblades on federal property, as long as they don't have blades longer than three inches. So...I learned something new. I also learned that like every state, Colorado has its share of silly laws still on the books. For example; cross dressing in public is illegal in Durango. Sterling has an ordinance which states that a cat must be fitted with a tail light if it sneaks out of the house. (Isn't that the whole purpose of sneaking out?) Speaking of cat legislation, in Cresskill, cats must warn birds of their whereabouts by wearing 3 bells. If you abuse rats in Denver, you're going down. You're also in trouble there if you loan your vacuum to a neighbor. Really. Big, big trouble. Don't even think about riding your horse upstairs in Cripple Creek. Against. The. Law. Boulder takes their city property pretty seriously. It's illegal to move a rock on city property, as well as allow your pet goat to graze on city grass. Better watch it. And in case you don't think we take safety seriously in Colorado...well you'd be wrong. It's against the law to have a snowball fight in Aspen (I personally think it's because you might mess up some one's hair, make-up or bruise a recent botox injection) They're all over it in Alamosa, where you positively cannot fire a missile at a car. No way. Never. Ever. So...the question here is if the government does in fact shut down, would that give all of us a chance to go out and break some of these laws? Personally, I'm thinking about taking a horse up to the third floor of a casino in Cripple Creek.

Boycott Donald Trump...it worked on Glen Beck!

It's red lipstick and fishnets for Donald Trump, because he has officially morphed into an old whore, and it's not a pretty thing to behold. He proved it again with more crazy talk. I'm still trying to figure out how he can howl this loud while he's so busy licking tea party balls. After 30 seconds of listening to his 'birther' rant on the Today Show this morning (April 7) my first thought was that he was simply off his medication, because he had that irrational Charlie Sheen thing going. Like Sheen, the Donald is always shamelessly self-promoting, but this last bit of pandering to the idiot birthers really demonstrates that the wheels have come off the wagon. I thought Trump was supposed to be smart. This undisciplined blah blah crazy blah wasn't exactly smart. In fact...listening to the Donald 'trumpeting' about oil, what a superior businessman and deal maker he is, and bashing President Obama over a made-up conspiracy made me throw up in my mouth a little. Quite simply- no one likes to listen to Donald as much as Donald. I want him to shut up or be held accountable for lying. Let's just pretend that the whole birther issue hasn't been put to rest. Let's pretend that this hasn't been documented. That the people perpetrating this hoax don't have an agenda. That they don't lie. That fact check doesn't exist. No, wait. I can't do it...because it has been dealt with. Over and over again. It isn't an issue unless you're incredibly ill-informed, naive, believe Faux News, are a racist looking for another reason to be angry at the fact that we elected Barack Obama President, are a conspiracy-theory nut, or just too stupid to think for yourself. As for Donald Trump...it's time for this opportunistic piece of work to take his lips off the tea party's dick; go quietly into the sunset, and do something good for the country. Fire himself. Wait...maybe we can do it for him. Anyone who thinks Donald Trump is a pain-in-the-ass should publicly vow to boycott everything associated with his businesses. Don't drink the vodka. Don't stay or play at a Trump property. (this means golf courses, too) And...let's do to the Donald what Color of Change instigated against another useless windbag...Glen Beck. Let's contact the advertisers of The Apprentice and tell them we will be voting with our advertising dollars, and as long as the Donald is spouting such irresponsible, disingenuous garbage, we'll be boycotting not only the program, but all sponsors of it. It's a free country. We have the right to free speech. We also have the right to be disgusted, and to voice our opinions and intolerance of such blatantly deceitful statements, and the fools who make them. Read more...Check out Jenice Armstrong of the Philadelphia Daily News http://articles.philly.com/2011-04-05/entertainment/29384791_1_donald-trump-birther-issue-celebrity-apprentice; or Michael Langston Moore's Boston TV Examiner column http://www.examiner.com/tv-in-boston/color-of-change-s-victory-over-glenn-beck-shows-consumers-wield-the-power For a tidy disposal of stupid 'birther' myths, read http://mediamatters.org/research/201104070029 of course, it probably won't do any good if you're a birther. But then, in that case, there's a good chance you don't read anyway. Just settle yourself down and tivo Glen Beck so you have something to do in the future, or wait for the next round of crazy talk from the Donald. It won't be long.