Friday, February 11, 2011

Tell the dishwasher to hold, I'm talking to the freezer...

Living in the middle of nowhere can really be a pain when a major appliance goes on the fritz.

I hate washing dishes in any way, shape or form, so last year when a brand-new Kenmore dishwasher stopped working after just a few weeks, I was less than pleased. It got even nastier when we found out that it was going to take a couple of weeks for the service tech to come out and figure out the problem, because we lived in such a remote area. God help us if they needed to order parts. I used lots of paper plates for a while.

This experience should make me appreciate the new 'Kenmore Connect' system that Sears is bragging about- but it doesn't.

Evidently, some Sears appliances are so smart that they can send their own communications to the service department- saving a service call and wasted time.

Sounds good, but think about it...where is it going to stop?

First off, if the washer is all that smart, why does it need to call the service department in the first place? Why can't it just fix itself, or for that matter, why did it break to begin with? AHA! Not that smart, are we?

The other thing that really troubles me, is how do you know your smart-assed washer is going to limit its calls to the service department?

How do you know it's not going to run up long distance charges calling all its appliance friends in God-knows what kind of other remote areas where the dryers and refrigerators and dishwashers are all bored crazy?

How do you know that even if they limit their calls to the service department that they won't talk about you behind your back?

I can just imagine my dishwasher tattling to the tech rep that I buy my automatic dishwashing detergent at the dollar store, and I rarely refill the little Jet Dry cup.

Bitchy Dishwasher.

Oh, yeah- and the refrigerator is probably ratting me out right now because I leave snap-top containers on the shelves for so long that the food inside is no longer identifiable. (Why else would those little containers be so cheap if you weren't meant to toss them out when you were afraid to open them?) It's probably also going on and on about how I don't clean it on a weekly basis like I was taught to.

Asshole Refrigerator.

The freezer is complaining because I never label anything and stuff has been in there since the Carter Administration, the Stove is pointing out that I always put the burner plates on wrong so they don't fit together, and the Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer is...never mind, there is nothing the Kitchen Aid could possibly say about its treatment. I worship the counter it sits on, and it knows that. In fact, that could be why the other appliances are talking trash about me. Speaking of trash, we haven't even mentioned what the garbage disposal is saying...