Thursday, December 22, 2011

Happy Holidays

We're snowed in here on the Mesa. Nothing to do but eat all the broken Christmas cookies I've been baking, and watch trash TV.
It doesn't look so bad in the photo, but there's too much snow to get down the hill, so the dog and I are spending the day watching Law & Order reruns (I miss Jerry Orbach)  while he plots revenge against the cat.
They've been feuding lately, mostly over snacks. Each has an odd perspective on ownership, neither respects anything on their human's plate. Here's why the dog will never reign supreme. 
Our version of SNL's 'Lasercats'.
This is how we grow 'em in Colorado. Not promoting Sun Maid products, just look at the damn cat.

Phew, sugar overload.
Happy Holidays.

Friday, December 16, 2011

What I learned today...

During my daily chat with one of my CA girlfriends, she asked how I'd be spending the upcoming weekend.
Keep in mind that she'd just shared how she was going to a holiday party at a winery in Sonoma, then she and her husband were going to crash at a friend's condo there so they could make a leisurely drive back on Sunday, stopping along the way at one of their favorite restaurants.
Audible Sigh.
I took a deep breath, and told her that over the weekend, I hoped to get the bird out of the basement. Oh,  and we were going to chop more firewood, and maybe, if I wasn't too tired, I would bake something full of apple-y goodness, before the 3 boxes of apples we have stored in the mudroom turn into something disgustingly mushy.
Somehow, I don't think I'm going to be having as much fun as she's having, but I'm not going to have to put on any restrictive garments for my weekend activities, which has become Priority #1 in my world.
Sad. Very, very sad.
She didn't even appear shocked to hear there was a bird flying around in the basement, because she listens to me complain about errant wildlife on a daily basis. The bird got into the basement after the Unfortunate Mouse Incident last week, because now, I absolutely refuse to go down the narrow basement stairs. The only other way to get into the basement is to open the 'Dorothy Door', which is what we call the big old hatch-like door by the side of the house, because it looks like it could be straight out of the tornado scene in the Wizard of Oz.
Because of my irrational fear of rodents, I've decided when I have to do laundry, instead of going down the narrow basement stairs which would not provide ample turning-around-room-in-case-I-come-face-to-face-with-a-mouse, I need to go out the kitchen door, walk around the house, open the Dorothy Door, and enter  the basement this way. Normally, no big deal, except earlier this week, when the weather did this
Obviously, I needed the dryer, which means basement. Grrrr. Oh yeah, and Brrr. So a stupid bird flew in (at least I hope it's a bird and not a bat, but hell, nothing at this point would shock me) and now there is yet one more unwanted critter in the basement.
But, I did learn something this week. Something I never had to think about when I lived in NoCal.
Steel-toed shoes are not a good choice in the snow. I don't need to explain this, do I ?
I have to go walk around the house now, so I can leave some birdseed out for whatever is flying around downstairs.

UPDATE: Snow melting, bird flew away. Life is good.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Cat & Mouse...really, cat & mouse!

There simply is not enough gin on the planet right now to make things OK.
I'm trying, but this is way above my current pay grade.
The issue is mouses. (I don't want to hear that crap about the plural of mouse being mice. This is my post and I prefer the incorrect term, mouses.)
My mostly unemployed 32 lb. cat just confirmed my worst fear about living in this farmhouse.
There ARE mouses that live here, too.
The big guy (cat, not husband) caught one over the weekend. It was a horrible experience, which I am still not over, in spite of consuming mass quantities of whatever (gin is best) alcohol I can get my hands on. Is there a better excuse for drinking? Screw social drinking. This is stress drinking. This is rodent stress drinking.
At some point, after a significant amount of rodent stress drinking, I got the feeling that more little mouse bastards still might social-networking under the kitchen sink, or perhaps behind the stove, and maybe, just maybe the big cat didn't catch all of the mouse-intruders.I thought this because he spent several hours like this...just waiting...watching...being super stealthy.

Just so you know, this is what passes for a cat disguise in my home. The cat becomes completely invisible to mouses when he puts his head in the laundry basket. It works, too- because the current score is 
 Mickey the 32 lb.Invisible Cat: 1       Mouses: 0
I kind of thought I should do something helpful to try and drive away the mouses, too- and (mostly due to the increased gin consumption) settled on making a whole lot of noise, to convince any rodents still parked in the house that there was simply too much mouse-danger to risk staying, or (God forbid) making another appearance. In case anyone is faced with this or a similar dilemma, let me tell you that tap shoes on a hardwood floor are a great tool for making a racket. The only downside is that the dog got confused (he's not too much smarter than the cat) and thought that there was someone knocking at the door. For 2 hours. So he barked for 2 hours, until I took the tap shoes off. My second choice was majorette boots; although the noise factor wasn't as satisfying as the tap shoes, they added the extra protection...adding a nifty leather barrier between me and any mouse that might come flying out from under the sink. But it's been lots of years since these have been worn, and the years have not done anything to add to the comfort factor. Plus, they looked really weird with my pajamas. But it felt pretty good to march around the kitchen holding a martini glass. Made me forget about the mouses and mentally challenged pets, but now I'm waiting for that phone call from PETA.  

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

NBC/WSJ poll...Let's Make America Average Again!

According to the latest NBC/WSJ poll, the current crop of GOP candidates is viewed as 'average'. Only 21% of those registered to vote in the Republican primary thought their choices were strong. My personal feeling is that the poll would have had a different outcome if these options were available:
  1. Batshit Crazy
  2. Serial Cheater 
  3. Really Good Hair 
  4. Slimier Than a Safeway Chicken
Never mind. We're talking the GOP. Maybe their enthusiasm has been set aside just in case the Donald thinks he can squeeze out 5 more minutes of attention by announcing his candidacy.  Or Sarah Palin, now that no one wants to buy Todd's reality show. Or Carl Paladino, that psycho guy with the baseball bat who ran for Gov. in NY. Oh, you Republicans... you're more entertaining than a basement full of serial killers.
But waaayyy more scary to live with.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Watch and share...

Powerful images and music remind us that civil disobedience is nothing new.
Sadly, neither is police brutality- but watching the resolve of dedicated protesters through the decades makes me realize what others have risked and given up for causes they believe in...and how we've benefited from their determination.
This also reinforces the fact that the 'authorities' who employ fire hoses, clubs and pepper spray never accomplish the goal of silencing the protests...they mostly achieve the opposite, which is strengthen the commitment of those speaking out, therefore promoting the very causes they are fighting to quell.
Thanks to The Strolling Scones: Rick and Helen, and David Jacobson at Words & Pictures for creating this. 

Friday, December 9, 2011

Too twisted for color TV...

It's been a busy week for the twisted pretzels in the GOP, and those who love them.

There's been another one of those phony-filibusters in the Senate that prevented an actual vote on the confirmation of  Richard Corday to head the new (well,not that new- it was actually created 14 months ago)Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The Repo's just can't stand the idea of the government protecting anyone but their Wall Street cronies. They pulled this same crap when Elizabeth Warren was up for the job. She's now running for the Senate in Massachusetts against pretty, pretty Scott Brown. Wouldn't it be the best karmic bitch-slap ever if she beat the crap out of him?
This obstruction bullshit isn't anything new- the party of GOP clown shoes has been standing in the way since Jan. 20, 2009. The fact that they physically haven't been removed from office by constituents whose best interests they've bought and sold is nothing more than a testament to the ignorant voters who've wasted their time listening to Faux News, and wouldn't know a fact if it bit off a piece of  their big white hinies.
The part I like best is Mitch McConnell's (R-KY...does anyone else think K-Y when they see that?) explanation.He tried to sell the idea that blocking an up or down vote of Corday to the CFPB was responsible, because he doesn't think that the Bureau should be run without more involvement by members of Congress. He doesn't think...Let's get this right...He wants Congress- the group with an approval rating lower than contract killers, to have more input?  With all due respect, Mitch McConnell should be on anti-psychotic meds, along with any human who supports his POV, because these people are fucking delusional. I mean no disrespect to anyone dealing with mental health issues, really.The only others who are equally as delusional are John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, and oh, never mind...the hits just keep on coming.
Speaking of Newt, remember back in March when he told the CBN that the reason why he was a serial-cheater was just because he loved America so much? Remember? He said he was so busy, and so patriotic that he made bad choices. First off, Calista- are you getting nervous yet? You'd better have enough stuff from Tiffany's stashed in a safe deposit box to keep you in peroxide for a few years, because we know how well Newt did supporting his first family, and second, Newt stupid are you people?
Well, take solace in the fact that Newt and Santorum will have a yabba-dabba-do time at the Donald's debate. The one no one else is participating in. Yeah, this is getting good, even if it is too twisted for color TV.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

GOP Clown Shoes

The old whore Donald Trump is going to moderate the next GOP debate? Are they fucking kidding?
I've been out of the loop for a while, so I thought this was a joke. It is a joke, but Newsmax (now there's a name that just wreaks of responsible journalism...sounds like a discount news store) really, truly asked the hairpiece to moderate the December 27th  GOP debate in Iowa- which is just a week before the state's presidential caucuses. Steve Coz, editorial director of Newsmax said Trump was asked to host the debate because, "He's very a very well-known, very influential person and nearly all the Republican candidates have gone to Donald for advice, so we thought he was the perfect moderator."
What is more pathetic...the fact that the best the GOP has to offer has gone to the Donald for advice, or that the bullshit hairpiece feels the need to insert himself into national politics- lowering the bar each and every time he opens his mouth?
I'm not a fan of anyone in this current crop of GOP headliners, but at least Jon Huntsman and Crazy Ron Paul had the good sense to tell Trump to take a hike. They won't be taking part in the debate.
If this wasn't so depressing, the antics that go on daily under the big elephant tent would be a real hoot.
How foolish or frightened does a person have to be not to close the door on this whole idiot party?
FYI: the debate will also be carried by ION Television, which means they may have to bump a couple of their Psyche episodes, but since they run it about 18 hours a day, maybe they're hoping no one will notice.  Guess the Donald and the GOP will screw up the quality of their programming, too.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A good night...

None of the final results are in; but AP has called the results in three initiatives we've been watching closely... It appears that Mississippi voters have voted down the 'Personhood' Initiative; a clear attack on reproductive rights. That's a better result than I had hoped for...Yay, Mississippi!  Maine has voted to reinstate resident's ability to register on election day; which had been law for nearly 40 years, until the Repo's over-reached and changed it.  (Oh, no!!! 2 cases of voter fraud in 40 years...a reminder that if we need protection it's protection from the Republican party) And, (HUGE!) Ohio voters rejected Issue 2;  the Republicans' bill to destroy public workers' collective bargaining rights. The decisions are made by those who show up- thank you to all who turned out to vote!

Things that suck...

Today's list of things that suck...
Let's start the list with Rush Limbaugh. He's a slimy, snarky piece of trash- and anyone who is fool enough to let him into their home ought to pull their head out of their butt...all the way, not just part way out- because honestly, if you give credibility to this dickhead, you're pretty much an much asshole by association.
This is the same asshat who believed every whory thing that has been said about each and every Democrat, but is now defending Herman Cain against the growing sexual harrassment allegations. He spent a lot of energy mispronouncing Sharon Bialick's name last night, and succeeded only in making himself sound even creepier and pervier than usual. One of these days, his ass is going to get busted while he's trolling for illegal Viagra scrips....the rat bastard.

Something else that sucks? The 'Personhood' Amendment. We're watching Mississippi where some scary stuff is coming down. I wonder if voters there will decide that basic rights should be ripped away from 50% of the persons that already exist outside the womb. Initiative 26 is mind-boggling... denying women control of their own reproductive rights; going so far as to not only outlaw abortion, but restrict birth control and  invitro fertilization. I find it unreal that ANYONE would let the Mississippi Legislature in their uterus. And another thing- if you've got a penis, why should you have a say? It's simple. You don't have the equipment, you don't get a say in what goes on with the equipment. Here in Colorado, we had a similar ballot initiative last year. It was defeated by a healthy margin, but hell...we're not Mississippi. I wonder if they'll demonstrate why not all of us jump on the States' rights bandwagon.

Bible-thumpers who insist on hitting their kids suck, and since violence is the only thing that these assholes comprehend, they ought to get their dicks shut in the car door whenever they open their mouths to preach this crap. These fuckers surface every once in a while and go on about how they're directed by God to punish their children. They seem to obsess about punishment. Don't their kids ever behave? These guys also always like to go on and on about "How they got beat when they were kids and they're just fine!" Hey, guess what..."You're not." People emerge as healthy humans in spite of physical violence, not because of it, and anyone who believes otherwise is misinformed. Or just stupid. It is possible to raise healthy children without hitting them-if people have to resort to hitting it means they lack resources, or they are simply not as smart as the children they are in charge of. Or indulging their own tempers. Using the bible as justification is garbage- but it does give insight into why the kids who go nuts and kill their parents almost exclusively come from religious backgrounds.

Rance Dazzle or whatever the name of that little pipsqueek who heads the Republican National Committee sucks. OK, his name isn't Rance Dazzle, it's Reince Priebus, and I just got done listening to him answer (try and answer) on what a train wreck the Republican candidates have been. He snaked around the fact that in spite of the economy and criticism from both the right and left, if the election was held now, President Obama would beat ALL of the Repo's. Just sit there in your nastiness, Rance, or Reince or whoever you are, until you realize that we have a waaayyyy lower opinion of  the tea partiers in Congress than we do of the WH. Anyway, you are totally irrelevant.

Non-political sucking items:

Cats that weigh too much, climb up on the table and eat pasta off your lunch plate suck. This cat ignores more diet rules than I do.( the fat bastard weighs 32 lbs! Healthy cat food? Right.)  He refuses to stay off the dining room table, so I finally compromised and stuck a cardboard box there- he climbs in and mostly stays out of my way, except when he doesn't. Today, when I was distracted by the phone, he got out and finished my lunch. I was only away from the table for 3 minutes, but Jeez- who wants to eat pasta after it has cat spit on it? Good thing I'm not one of those creepy fundies- I know how they deal with disobedience. Not going to smack the cat. Will reason with him...he's obviously smarter than the average Republican. Just for the record, he takes up the same space as 4 six packs of beer; in case you were wondering, and I think I threw out my back the last time I had to do cat removal.

Going down to the basement sucks. The only reason I ever go to the basement is because that's where the washer and dryer are...and now, I put that off until I'm totally out of clean underwear. Otherwise I'd never, ever go down those stairs. It's frightening down there. I live in mortal fear of mouses.(I know, I know, the plural of mouse is mice, but in my mind, referring to them as mouses makes them sound not so vermin-y. Vermin-y? Too much?) I've never seen a mouse in the basement, but I know that if ever there were a mouse in the house it would hang out in the basement. Plus, it's always dark, and that's where the serial killers stay, or would if they ever came to the house. What I have seen in the basement is a couple of scorpion bodies, a few live lizards, a toad, and about 4,722 assorted bugs, both the live and dead variety. I may give up wearing panties altogether, because then I could put off laundry for even greater stretches, but that's a topic for another day.

Monday, November 7, 2011

With 56% voter turnout, who needs Republican suppression?

So we had an election last week in Colorado. Voter turnout here in Delta County was 56%. I guess folks just didn't figure it was important- hell, just a measure to fund education, some local  issues and school board elections.
Here's the thing... a whole bunch of folks who didn't bother to cast their ballots are the liberal-types, the ones who regularly express their disdain with the ultra-conservative forces here. Why did so many on our side just hand the election over to the other guys? If they were too busy, or didn't think it made a difference- they should be aware that one of the religious types who really believes in returning prayer to schools, and voices her support for a 'Christian Nation' won her seat, beating out a very qualified, educated guy with vast experience as an educator and administrator in both rural and urban environments. She won her seat by 63 votes. If 64 of our like-minded friends could have been bothered to inform themselves, and get their ballots in, it would have made a difference. But basically, they didn't give a shit. It wasn't even a matter of getting to the polling place- it was just a case of getting the ballot mailed in.
The right wing kicks our asses on this one- because too often our side is laser-beam focused on single issues,  fickle and in this case, simply too self-absorbed to realize that their lack of involvement does affect others.
One friend told my husband he didn't bother to vote because he didn't have kids in school- so the outcome really wouldn't have any impact on him... REALLY?
Who in hell does he think is going to be serving in future government? Protecting his rights in court should the need arise? Developing new technology? Handling his investments? Doing his open heart surgery? Writing the books he reads? Creating the music he longs to hear? Filling his prescriptions? Giving his dog a rabies vaccine? Oh...that stuff.  Does he not realize that without educating future generations, none of the elements he takes for granted can be a reality?  Does he not realize that just because he is not genetically linked to a child in school, as an American,  he still shares the responsibility to educate our next generations? They are all our children, and we'd better wake up, get off our asses and be responsible. It would be a benefit if the education we provide was based in facts and embraced science rather than religious dogma. It would be nice if we moved forward rather than backwards. But, the decisions are made by those who show up.
It starts with voting. It's pretty simple- every week there is a new story about Republican efforts  across the country to suppress the vote- always in heavily minority and Democratic districts. Sometimes, listening to some of my like-minded friends, I don't think the Republicans have to bother- we'll suppress our own vote just by refusing to participate.
Here's the me simple, unsophisticated, and naive in my belief that showing up makes a difference,but right here, right now- there is proof. 63 votes in one election, 75 in another. I know that if more residents of one particularly progressive town around here would have gotten out to vote, the outcome would have been different.
It doesn't matter how minor the issues seem to be, or how 'inconvenient' studying up on your ballot initiatives may feel. The citizens who were threatened, beaten or killed a few generations ago just to cast their ballots probably wouldn't want to hear about it. All the people of color and women who have been denied the right to vote over the years deserve more respect.  My grandmother was 32 years old before she got the right to vote; no one could convince her there was any such thing as an unimportant election. Sadly,  I think in this case, the other side gets it, and we don't...and the outcome of that could be the most threatening element to our democracy ever.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

I had nothing to do with these. I couldn't carve my way out of a paper bag...our all-grown-up-CA-son did the handiwork here. I just hope he isn't running while holding sharp objects. (mom humor)
Too difficult to post anything that makes sense after the sugar high I'm on. Note to self for next year: Do not open the trick or treat candy matter what the dog asks you to do.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Why I can never be a wine snot...

So, I should start out by stating my love for Sunset Magazine. It goes way back to when they were still Lane Publishing, and it was the magazine for Western Living. Back in my life as a sales rep, I used to call on their Creative Services Department and if the kitchen gods were smiling, there would be amazing treats from the test kitchen across the street, placed out for all to sample. Back in the day, they had a really cool tradition; the staff all took mandatory breaks at the same time. It was like recess-  at the designated time; everyone would stop work, go outside, have treat, and socialize. Besides having a beautiful facility in Menlo Park, the folks who worked there were really nice. I couldn't say that about everyone I called on, especially some of the ad agency types that wore nothing but black and always took themselves way too seriously. But none of that is the point. The point is that ever since Sunset did a feature about Paonia, CO (seriously, I'm not making this up-look!)
I read it cover-to-cover to make sure I don't miss something really fun and fascinating. So while I was waiting for the house to warm up the other day, the latest copy of Sunset and I stayed in bed for an extra hour. It was a good read. It included:
Thanksgiving feature: Maybe. Read it later. In the kitchen.
Mountain Weekend in Glenwood Springs:  Sounds good. Check it out.
Vegan side dishes: Ick. Skip that one.
Idea Houses: So cool. Major Lust over the pretty, pretty pictures.
Sunset Wine Awards: Interesting. Wait a minute. What's up with these descriptions? OK...I've done my  time in the Napa Valley, and here in the North Fork Valley we have some pretty impressive wineries,
(check out West Elks AVA) but the Sunset Western Wine Awards made me laugh out loud. And ask myself the serious questions,  Do I really want a wine that lurks? Or one that has haunting layers? I'm not sure I like haunting and lurking.
I'm also not sure that I want to spend 44 bucks on a Chardonnay that is touched with crushed rock.
In my mind, I don't want to taste traces of stuff I might be tracking in on the bottom of my shoes. I'm also not sure I want minerality (we get enough in the tap water here) or saddle leather ( exactly whose ass has been in that saddle?) or English Leather (like the cologne? No thanks) For $65, one can select a Pinot Noir that includes waves of earthy tobacco smoke, or cough up $75 for a Syrah that has hints of Dr. Pepper. Would that be Diet Dr. Pepper or the retro kind with real sugar? I know a vending machine outside the City Market where you can get more than a hint of Dr. Pepper for 75 cents. How do you feel about forest floor, wet stones, bacon or cured meat in general? If you don't recognize the inkyness of the blend, is life really worth living? Yeah, yeah, yeah...I'm pedestrian. I'm an amateur. If this gets out, I'll never get to go to another wine club meeting...but here's the thing- I can enjoy a good glass of wine without it needing to sound like it should have its own Facebook page, and I'm not tempted by descriptors that would more closely suit one's profile on (Supple, lively, plush, vibrant and sassy) Wait...I'd date that wine. No, I want to BE that wine.
I've been thinking that maybe I can create marketing material for some of the out of the way wineries. I'll just scrape the crap off my boots, look in the woodpile, check the bottom of the fridge- or maybe under the sofa cushions for inspiration. How do you feel about potting soil,  Camel butts, wilted celery, Oreo crumbs and cat hair?  Mmmmm. Let's open that one tonight.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Life in Colorado = fitness program

When we lived in California, one of my hobbies was buying exercise equipment and then storing it in the garage. Because I am an indecisive weenie, most of it still sits with other remnants of our old life in a California storage unit,costing us as much as it would if we rented our crap an entire apartment of its own here in Colorado.
That's not the point. The point is that I am still enticed by commercials for exercise shit, even though I know I can't afford it, I'd never, ever use it, and now, we don't even have a garage to store it in once we got it and I instantly lost my enthusiasm.
Just a few minutes ago, I saw an ad for some kind of Boflex-y walking-stepping-elliptical-y machine. I wanted it. Bad.
I jumped up to get a closer look at the 800 number, and in my haste, knocked the plate of chocolate chip cookies off my lap. The next few minutes involved an exhausting struggle with the dog to make sure he didn't get any chocolate, and by the time the mess was cleaned up, the damn ad was over, and I'd missed the opportunity to find out how in just 1228 easy payments of 39.95, I could own one of those nifty walking-stepping-bo-flexy machines, along with 457 how-to DVDs. Plus, the people working out are always dressed so well. Not at all like we dress around here.
I was thinking about that machine all morning. Every time I walked up and down the steps to the scary basement with a basket of laundry I thought...I could be working out. Every time I hauled the laundry out to the clothesline and stretched out to hang it up, I figured how much better I'd be feeling if I could just get that shiny new piece of  exercise equipment. While walking up the stairs to the bedrooms to put stuff away, I kept imagining what good shape I'd be in with that schmancy exercise machine somewhere in my house. It doesn't matter that we've got something kind of like it in a storage unit 1000 miles away. It doesn't matter that I know I wouldn't  use it, and the ceilings in the bedrooms are under the eaves and too low to actually set it up, so the only place it would fit would be in the center of the living room. Yikes. 
Later, the dog and I went for a long walk down the hill by our house, which means we had to walk back up again.  

On the way back up the hill,  we stopped to look around and do some leaf peeping.
The dog really likes the view from here...

But the cat prefers this view...

Probably because the cat likes to see me suffer, and I'm always winded after the climb back up this hill. Man, somewhere in all this over hill, over dale stuff, there has to be an ass-lifting benefit.
Now that I'm away from the TV, I see it is kind of nice outside...
Come to think of it, running up and down two flights of stairs dozens of times a day is kind of like working out. Life in this old farmhouse has it's own set of requirements that pretty much kick the crap out of anything I can order from an infomercial. When you think about chopping and stacking wood, hauling coal,and unloading supplies, (yeah, like I'm the one who actually does that) it's a much healthier lifestyle than just spending 20 minutes on a treadmill  with a DVD.  I do miss the slick workout clothes, though. Just a little.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ohio Congressman Hagan kicks ass!

Must see TV...
Rachel Maddow's interview with Robert Hagan (D-Ohio) on why TARP recipients and government employees should be on the receiving end of the same drug tests that the Republicans are so fond of forcing on those applying for unemployment or welfare benefits.
This has worked so well in Florida, where the least popular Governor in the US, Rick Scott, bragged recently about the success of their drug screening for welfare recipient program.  For the record: 2% of welfare recipients tested positive...another 2% refused to be tested...those are the results he's bragging about. Good going Gov! I can see why you're held in such high regard... Hey- Let's make Gov. Rick pee in a cup. As a recipient of a government paycheck, he should be held to the same standard as a guy who gets downsized and needs the unemployment benefits he's been contributing to for years. With Gov. Scott, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out why he had been pushing for mandatory drug testing...the chain of walk-in clinics he founded specializes in drug tests, and (even though he signed ownership over to his wife two weeks prior to taking his oath of office) the company stood to make millions in profits from the mandatory drug screenings of welfare recipients. The problem is, the state has to reimburse everyone whose test comes back negative, which, so far, is 98% of those taking the test.
Gov. Scott is acting like today's typical Republican legislator; finding a way to screw the system, squeeze the government, and blame the whole mess on poor people.
Now contrast his actions with the totally decent Rep. from Youngstown Ohio, Robert Hagan.

Click on the link to watch last night's interview...
Let's run and get that specimen cup for the crook Rick Scott and another one for the asshat Governor Nikki Haley, of South Carolina, who "So wants drug testing" for those seeking unemployment benefits, in fact she states she's been thinking about it since the first day she walked into office. Even though they now know it's a giant waste of resources, and has made the state vulnerable to numerous lawsuits. Gov. Haley sounds twisted to me. I think she would do well to spend some time in therapy if she's been obsessing about this so much.
Nikki Haley is starting to sound about as batshit crazy as Michele Bachmann. Voters of South Carolina...really? Do you aspire to be...Florida?
But, back to the good guys, who want to take a stand to stop demonizing the poor and unemployed.
Robert Hagan is my new hero.
If you're in a surfing mood, here's a link to Representative Hagan's site...
Please drop him a note. Unlike most Republican reps, he doesn't screen for zip codes, so you don't have to phony-up a 123 Happy Street address with an Ohio zip code from District 60 to write to him- His mailbox is open for comments, so please, consider sending an email message of support. I'm guessing his job hasn't been too easy these days, and it might be a good thing to let him know that he's more popular than the former Wall-street dickhole Ohio Gov. Kasich. I only wish my representative, Scott Tipton, would remove his lips from the rear ends of the oil and gas industry long enough to stop lying about medicare and watch my back. Remind me again, how long til I can vote against him?
Bottom line here is- for anyone who still says there's no difference between the Demos and the Repos, I beg to differ. We might not support everything they do, but there IS a huge difference.
That said, if you're in a writing mood, how about dropping Ben Nelson of Nebraska
 and John Tester of Montana (who both recently voted against the Jobs bill in the Senate)
 a note and tell them to pull their heads out of their asses, support working Americans and start voting like Dems.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Time to fill up congressional voicemail & shut down websites...again.

One of the comments after President Obama's press conference this morning was a rather snarky remark from the consistently snarky reporter, Chuck Todd. He made a reference to the tremendous public response after the President's address during the debt ceiling debacle, and tried to draw the conclusion that the American public doesn't support the jobs bill, since the response from the public isn't shutting down legislator's websites, filling voicemail, or tying up congressional phone lines.
OK, if that's what it takes...let's do it.
Would everyone who gives a crap PLEASE start phoning, and emailing?
Let's demand passage of this bill, and demand that the obstructionist right wing get out of the way, and start doing their jobs. Get your own rep on the line and let them know you're watching, and you'll be voting, and if they don't stop this nonsense, unemployment will take on a  very personal meaning. Maybe a message to the Speaker would be a good place to start.
This is the contact for everyone who lives outside Ohio's 8th district.
To reach Speaker Boehner's office in DC, call 202-225-0600.
Seriously...a whole bunch of us would love to be part of the Wall St. protest, but can't get ourselves to NYC or any other major metro area...the best we can do is make our voices heard in ways that can't get overlooked when there are enough of us. The websites got shut down and the voicemail inboxes got filled up before-if you're stuck out in the sticks or somewhere in the burbs...join part of another crowd. Go on...pick up the phone. You know you want to.I just ranted on Speaker Boehner's voicemail, and it felt so good.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Are you ready to hear a talking asshole? Say hello to Hank Williams Jr.

Would someone please tell me what I've been missing?  Every time he opens his mouth, Hank Williams Jr. sounds like a dumb ass- so why does anyone give a crap about his opinion? Of course it happens on Faux...another slam to President Obama....But not a well-articulated or thought-provoking criticism- oh no. Hank Williams Jr. compares POTUS to Hitler.  Don't they know that every time they bellow the Hitler comparison, these teabaggers sound like they're all off their meds? If it weren't hard enough already to take any of them seriously, this just sounds pathetic.
OK... so I'm not much of a football fan, except for Superbowl when I can use the game as an excuse to invite friends over, in order to serve and consume mass quantities of fatty meat, every high calorie snack food known to man, and a generous selection of adult beverages. Isn't that kind of the point?
That said, like anyone in the US that isn't in a coma, I'm familiar with the "Are you ready..."  game opening- and frankly, I don't get what the big deal is if it just goes away.  They've been using this for 20 years, it's time for a change already. Given that Hank Williams Jr. is a blow-hard, and sounds like every one's loudmouth degenerate brother-in-law, what the hell is wrong with ESPN dumping his stupid ass?
OK, his dad was talented...that's nice, but exactly how long do we have to put up with Jr. spouting idiocy? Of course the tea party must be falling all over themselves to type out 'mad as hell' responses on the ESPN website...I'm guessing that they've got to have something to keep them occupied now that Rick Perry and  Michele Bachmann are self-destructing; Chis Christie really truly absolutely positively isn't going to run, and too many of them can't understand Mitt Romney's big words. Blah.
I'm ready...for these guys to go away. Far, far away.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Tell BofA to kiss it!

So B of A is dinging customers five bucks a month for the privilege of using their plastic teller instead of bothering one of their human tellers (who've had their hours reduced to just shy of full-time so the poor bank won't have to pay them benefits.) As far as I'm concerned,  BofA can kiss it. So can Wells Fargo, Citi, Chase and every other big bastard bank.
We've moved our accounts to the local credit union, and you know what? They provide better service, have competitive rates, and are owned by the members. Oh, no! This sounds like socialism! They even give your dog a treat when you go to the drive-through.( but so does the liquor store) I digress.
Maintaining a relationship with one of these rat bastard banks is kind of like trying to maintain a relationship with someone who treats you like shit. Seriously, why are we allowing our financial institutions to treat us in ways we would never tolerate from partners or friends? Think about give and give and give, follow the rules, take good care of your account, and the whole time your bank is screwing your best friend, talking shit about you to other banks, stealing money out of your purse when you're not looking, asking you for your most personal information, then losing control of it, and selling your secrets to other marketing companies so they can screw you too. If your girlfriend or boyfriend pulled this crap, you'd kick them to the curb. Unless you like being treated like crap. Evidently, too many American consumers do- that's why these big guys will continue to rape and pillage- until we take responsibility and say no more.
Over the years, I've done business with just about every major bank- closing my account at Wells Fargo was about the toughest thing I'd ever done, since at the time I did (back in the 70's) they'd been my bank since my first grade savings account was opened. It took one experience to make me realize that they were no longer the same organization I started with, when the nice tellers took my wrinkled birthday money and marked deposits in a dog-eared passbook.  In 1977, I got my first real job, at the newspaper where my dad worked. It was the first time I could actually afford to buy more than one cosmetic item at a time, and back then, I was pretty careful- so when I got an overdraft notice from Wells Fargo, I was completely flustered. I did what any responsible 21-year old would do, I waited for my lunch break, then ran downstairs to my father's office. I breathlessly told him I got a notice from the bank that I didn't understand. As he launched into Parental Lecture 29-A (financial responsibility) I showed him the OVERDRAFT NOTICE. It read:
Wells Fargo has processed an item in the amount of  6,997,698.12  resulting in insufficient funds in your account. As a courtesy to you, we have paid the amount causing the overdraft, and charged your account 4.00 (Don't forget, this was 1977)
When my dad stopped snickering, and explained it was a mistake, he suggested I call the bank from his office, and let him listen on the extension, which I did. It took me a few tries to read the overdraft notice without laughing as I read the amount. This was the first time I realized that the person on the other end of the phone didn't know me, didn't care, and had no sense of humor.She was not my nice local teller. She was just a voice on the other end of the line. After keeping me on hold for 22 minutes, she came back on the line and told me to disregard the notice, because it was an 'apparent' mistake. Apparent. She did not see the paradox of her institution allowing me to use almost 7 million bucks (even for a few days) and being charged four dollars for the courtesy. She also never apologized for the apparent screw-up, instead she was rude and abrupt. Maybe because I was howling like a hyena for most of our conversation. Maybe I wasn't the only customer with an erroneous overdraft notice she was responding to, and the humor of the situation had worn thin- who knows? I do know that conversation destroyed my loyalty to the bank, and I closed my account the next day. It was no longer a symbiotic relationship, and I was done. I've opened and closed accounts at various banks over the years, and the state of customer service has only gotten worse, but this last bitch-slap by Bof A sealed it for me. No more banks. There's nothing they do for us that can't be done by a local establishment that's customer owned.  The credit union has the 'we're all in this together' attitude, which beats the crap out of  Bof A's 'we're out to mess you around' mentality. Plus...the dog treats.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Non-political nonsense...NO ONE EVER SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Just a thought...a non-political thought-
Having a conversation with my husband last night- doing my usual bitching about stuff, when I realized...
When you're a tiny kid you don't sleep through the night because you're busy peeing the bed or dreaming about crazy stuff like having your silly putty grow legs and run around your face. That wakes you up in the middle of the night.
Then you get older, and get to have slumber parties, or hide under the covers talking on the phone, until your parents see the 25 ft. of phone cord hanging out from under your comforter...after you get busted, you spend the rest of the night trying to sneak the phone back in your room- bottom line... you don't sleep through the night.
A little older, and your raging teenage hormones keep you awake.
A little beyond that, if you're lucky, you're not sleeping because you're having newly discovered crazy monkey sex  most of the night.
A few years later, you're convinced you're never going to sleep again, because the children that are a result of that crazy monkey sex are busy peeing the bed and keeping you awake.
Fast forward a few years and you're too tired to sleep through the night. Seriously. Too. Tired.
Then, you don't sleep because you're awake listening for your kids to get home, and worried about what damage their teenage hormones will cause.
Next, your own change of life hormones are raging again, and guess what- no sleep.
Next can't sleep because you're up every 5 minutes to pee.
I'm tired just thinking about this. The dog and I are taking a nap.

Calling all volunteers: Time to tell the Tea Party...GET OUT!

The more I hear the clearer it becomes...the Tea Party, and the republican whores who have allowed them to hijack the process of governing have got to go.They are the minority. They do not represent this country, any more than Fred Phelps represents a compassionate clergy. It's up to us, the American public that isn't stupid, fearful, and gullible, to get off our collective asses and take action. We have to talk to the media, our elected representatives, our neighbors, our families, essentially anyone who will listen. We have to expose them when they lie. The party of NO, the party of fiction, racism and badly spelled signage must be dismantled- and the best way to accomplish this is with the truth. We can destroy them with facts. We can wipe them out with reality. We can create a real grass roots movement, one that the media can't ignore. Big events always start out small, generally when people finally have had enough. The tea party likes to pretend that they are a grass roots movement of ordinary Americans, but we know that is pure fiction. They are funded by shills for big business, who have fanned their fears, and encouraged their racism. That is not who we are. That is not who we will allow to flourish...not one more day. Say it, the next time you hear their hate speech. NOT ONE MORE DAY! When you hear the conversations at the post office or grocery store or park, speak up. Ask them if it's OK to let your kid die because you don't have insurance. Ask them if its OK that Dad is withering away from cancer, because he can't afford treatment. Ask them why it's OK to allow the wealthiest to pay fewer taxes, while more children go to bed hungry. Ask why it's OK that their employer cuts their wages, and ships more jobs overseas, while the CEO's makes obscene bonuses. Ask them why they support candidates who kiss the asses of the corporations that deny them living wages and benefits for profit's sake.  ASK those Tea Party bastards. Make them accountable.It's time to tell the truth. These are the people who have destroyed the economy. They are not the fixers, they are the ones who broke it. Time to tell the truth. Time to stop being polite when they lie. Show your outrage! Those people in the Tea Party audiences...they deserve our outrage. They need to hear it. We've been quiet too long.  Email your congressperson, especially if they're tea party members, and ask them the same thing. Pick up the damn phone, call them and tell them you're horrified by their positions, and you will support whoever is opposing them in the next election. Then do it! Let's make the Repuplican party as scared of us as they are of a handful of crackpots! Call the news desk at every local station you get.  Tell them what you think, and that they are doing a suck job of covering what's really going on.( All major media made a big deal about President Obama's recent drop in approval ratings, but few bothered to tell the rest of the story...that the same people approved of the Tea Party even less, and trusted the President MORE than the Republicans.) If you do this, and reach 5 people a day; and tell others to do the same, eventually it will become too big to ignore. Americans who feel this way will  show that they are bigger, stronger, smarter, more powerful than those who dress up like fools and pretend to be patriots, when all along their expressed  POV is closer to the Taliban than to the ideals our country was founded on.
Another is imperative to be aware of the products we purchase. We should boycott the products produced by companies who support the Tea Party, and their candidates. (a good place to start is with the Koch Brothers...don't buy a single Georgia Pacific product and tell the retailer where you shop why)
It's easy to make small differences that will add up and send a strong message that the tide is turning, even in 'conservative' areas. If you see Faux News on in a restaurant or store, ask the management to switch the channel. If they refuse, stop shopping there. Tell them what you are doing, and write a letter to the Public Relations Dept at the corporate headquarters and tell them why they are losing revenue. Give them figures on how much you spend.
If we are complacent, then maybe we aren't any better. There is no excuse for not taking action; you see, we don't have to agree on all the points...that's the great thing about being a liberal. Unlike the lock-step right wing, we have room for different perspectives. But if we don't come together to stand united against these people who are threatening our very essence; our spirit, our identity as a people, then we might as well  become them.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Why does the tea party have such a hard-on to kill people?

I'm sick and tired of normal people dancing around the subject in polite company. Drag this ugly mess out in the light of day, so those among us who have more than half a brain can speak up with a resounding "HELL NO!" whenever it comes to what the idiocy-of-the-moment mouthpiece for the Koch-funded, corporate-ass-kissing-lying-cheating-pulling-the-wool-over-the-dumb-shits-out-there-AstroTurf-poor-excuse-for-a-political-movement-tea-party comes up with.
I tried to listen to the Republican debate, I really did. I thought because the media whore Sarah Palin wasn't participating, I wouldn't vomit on the floor. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Rick Perry's mere existence made me ill, and that was before he even spoke. Seriously, the only thing more repulsive than the lies and stupidity coming out of the mouths of the candidates on stage was the gaggle of knuckle-draggers in the audience cheering at the prospect of the death penalty. Cheering for the death penalty. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Did all their mommas get together and simultaneously drop them on their heads, because normal, healthy, intelligent humans DO NOT BEHAVE THIS WAY. Just in case you might be chastising yourself for being quick to judge, and think this could be a singular event, are correct in your judgement that tea party audiences are more disgusting than toilet scum- at least the asshats attending the Florida Tea Party Express Debate are. Setting a new low for a non-thinking, unfeeling, repulsive, hateful display, the crowd cheered when subject of letting the uninsured die was raised. They cheered wildly at the idea of letting sick people die.Worse yet? Not one of the candidates on the stage showed any strength of character or courage on the subject. Leadership? It is completely absent in this group of candidates,  but it is totally appropriate for the audience in attendance.
What we have to ask ourselves is whether or not this group's behavior is acceptable and representative for America and Americans. Is this who we want to become? Is this who we will allow ourselves to be? I'm thinking not so much, but unless we start coming together to voice our opposition each and every time one of these reprobates opens his or her mouths, and unless we stop letting them get by with their lies, this is exactly what we'll get.
Tell anyone who will listen about the liars and hypocrites. Tell that Rick Perry disses the Federal Government out of one side of his mouth, and asks for more Federal aid with the other. That Mitt Romney, through Bain, contributed to the vast numbers of unemployed Americans while lining corporate coffers.
That Michele Bachmann, while busy lecturing about the evils of government-funded health care has been on the receiving end of plenty of medicare dollars through her husband's practice.
Each and every candidate supported by the Tea Party needs to be held under the close scrutiny of fact check- and you need to share what you find.
Letters, people. Speeches, people. Dinner table talk. Offend your neighbors if you have to. Stop worrying about being polite- the opposition isn't. Stop apologizing for being a liberal, a thinker, someone with a brain, someone with a conscience. They're making noise...isn't it time the rest of the country heard ours?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Grasshoppers 4 ; Skippy 0

I didn't think that life in the country could get any more...rustic. I was wrong. Very very wrong. And by rustic I mean that the lack of Internet service has been oddly balanced by the increase in grasshoppers. Until today, when we had a separate satellite installed, we didn't have enough of a signal to get email, let alone play on the information highway. Hence the lack of posts, as well as total ignorance of what everyone else has been writing about. It has been lovely to spend time outside though. Except for the grasshopping bastards, who seem to be out to get me ever since I caught this guy trying to get in the bedroom window.  
The following afternoon, I was feeding Roy and Bernard, a couple of feral cats who hang out in my mother's backyard; bending over to fill a cat dish, and a grasshopper jumped down the front of my shirt and got stuck in my bra.
It was disgusting. Generally speaking, it takes a rodent to turn me into a shrieking first grader- except that's exactly what happened. I flashed the ferals in an exaggerated effort to get the nasty grasshopper away from my skin.In the flailing that followed,  I have no idea where it landed, but it must have been at least 6 feet away.  I had just recovered from the horror of the bra episode, when coming home from the Ace Hardware on Highway 133, I had another run-in. I was sailing along at 55 mph, not a care in the world, with the dog riding shotgun. We had the window down about four inches, because any more than that is simply too tempting for him, when something ( I swear it was a rock) flew through the open window and smacked me in the face, right under the eye. By the time I got home, I had a big red welt and it was starting to swell. When I opened the car door to get out, I looked down to find a huge grasshopper dead in my lap. He had apparently committed suicide on my face. Over the years, I've had some unfortunate incidences involving clumsiness on my part, but there is no way this was my fault. This was another heinous act by a grasshopping bastard. The next moring when I got up to pee the dog, a smaller grasshopping version dive bombed us, and whacked me in the back of the head.Hard. It hurt. While I was complaining, my husband told me he'd noticed way more grasshoppers than usual, but reminded me that we are in fact, living in the country, and also that I've been outside more than usual, because of the crappy internet connection, my ass isn't permanently parked in front of my laptop. I replied I didn't care and would like to visit my son in NYC, where I was sure the sidewalks were grasshopper-free. In the mean time, I planned to stay inside during peak grasshopping hours. This morning, while in the shower, I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, and opened my eyes to find a new grasshopper glaring at me (yes, he was!) from between the shower curtain and liner. The asshole was impervious to my swearing at him. Finally my husband heard the stream of obscenities, emerged through the steam and handled grasshopper removal. I'm sure the jackass came right back inside at the first opportunity. (I mean the grasshopper, not my husband)'s a trade-off.

 Bucolic country life...lovely surroundings... relaxed environment...when you're not dodging suicidal insects. 
Maybe they're just pissed about the lousy internet signal, too.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Non-political nonsense...

On a few days of self-imposed exile from all things of the political nature. Sometimes, it's just too much, and it becomes critical to focus on news that doesn't make me want to beat republicans senseless or hurl myself over the edge of the crazy-steep road I now drive to get home...because after all, in the long run, that would not be productive.
Occasionally, one can find comic relief in not-so-relevant news items... like watching Anderson Cooper lose it while reporting on the Gerard Depardieu-peeing-on-a-plane story. Amazing how watching someone else giggle uncontrollably can be utterly contagious. I wonder if we would laugh as much if we were actually on the pee-flight in question. I think I might; kind of sophomoric in that way...
While unpacking some crap I got out of storage, I found another great bit of nonsense I missed the first time around.(anything I have wrapped in old newspapers always takes about 10 times longer to get out and put away; pausing to peruse old headlines is irresistible. It once took me 3 hours to put 8 china place settings away.)  
Headline from an old GJ Sentinel found wrapped around some glasses...
Seems a Grand Junction man reported to the police that someone entered his home (he wasn't sure if it was a Tuesday night or Wednesday night) and rearranged his furniture... nothing was stolen, apparently he believed that it was an ex-girlfriend who wanted to screw with his head.  Deputies determined there was no evidence of a crime having been committed. Is that because she did a good job?
OK...this tickles me on several levels. He's not sure when the furniture was moved...assuming by the story he wasn't traveling, how observant is this guy if he's not quite sure where his sofa is supposed to be. Is he absolutely sure he had a sofa? Is he absolutely sure he has an ex-girlfriend?
I've been known to be kind of an airhead from time to time, but I'm pretty sure I can remember where my furniture is placed. The reason I know this is that when my husband and I were first married, and too broke to buy new stuff, he would resolve the issue by periodically arranging and rearranging the cast-off furniture we had. Back then, he also used to rearrange the furniture as a form of problem-solving therapy. If he was stressed over a work issue, or trying to figure something out, he'd move end tables and chairs around like chess pieces. That's how I know it's not difficult to remember where your shit is. On more than one occasion, I'd get up in the morning and trip over something that hadn't been there when we'd gone to bed the night before. Once I sent a pitcher of orange juice to an early death by setting in on thin air, because the last time I'd looked, there had been a table where I was putting it. OK...I guess when it comes down to it, I wasn't any more observant than the guy in GJ with the interior-redesigning ex.
I just stayed married to my special re-arranger, but if he pees on a plane we'll have to talk.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


This makes about as much sense as the tea party.
California Peaches...Colorado Grown...what's wrong with this picture?
But damn hell, they're Colorado Proud!
(Of what, the fact that they came from California? Wait...maybe the peaches and I have something in common after all.)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Donate cash to Debbie Wasserman Shultz in Allen West's name- one way to piss off that jackhole.

Allen West (Asspanda-R-FL) went off on a personal attack on Democrat Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, after she dared to challenge the Republicans.  What's good for the goose...Allen West is worthless, unless we use him as a Demo-fundraiser.
She challenged policy, he attacked her personally, so as far as I'm concerned,the gloves are off. Based only on his behavior; he's a fucking fuckball, and we should all (on the matter of principle alone) cough up a few bucks to her re-election campaign, and do it in Allen West's name. He made his attack personal, so that must be what he understands.  To quote someone he'll understand...BRING IT ON....What it's really about is a thinking woman; far smarter and more courageous than he, who dares to have an opinion of her own, and if he were in my house, he'd last about 3 minutes. After we blasted him on policy, he'd have to apologize to women, seniors, dogs and cats, the entire population of  the United States, (sans tea party) as well as anyone with an IQ over 10, and then he'd have to sit quietly and think about all the bad choices he has made. There is simply no room for people like this in the system.
Bottom line...give $ to Debbie Wasserman Shultz because she's got as much heart and soul as Allen West has slime.

Here are some good links:
These people said it better than I did....

If you really want to piss off Alan's Debbie's site- make a contribution.

Then, tell that nasty-assed Allen West what you did....

Way to teach the fucking fuckballs a lesson.

I'm so done here.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I feel dirty...

I took another shower, but it didn't help. I even looked at several dozen cute cat videos, did some deep breathing, but nothing is making me feel better. I did this to myself. I brought on the damage...I went to the Faux News website and read a fauxitorial, looked at the results of a fauxpoll (NOT A SCIENTIFIC POLL!) and scanned reader's (I use the term loosely) fauxmments. It was AAAWWWFFFUUULLLL. The people who wrote in were mostly as dumb as a bag of hammers and twice as nasty as used kitty litter.
This is all my husband's fault. It's true. I can totally, completely blame him 100% for the fact that my eyes are burning in their sockets, what's left of my brain is melting, and I threw up in my mouth.
This morning over coffee, he commented that if I didn't check in with the opposition once in a while, then I couldn't comment with any authority on the evils they commit. I supposed he was right. We have a hard and fast rule that there is no Faux News Channel allowed on in our home, and if we are in any public place where it is being shown we either politely ask that the channel be changed or leave. This is fine if it's a commercial establishment, but a couple of weeks ago he was stuck in the hospital waiting area while I had some tests done. The waiting area has about 6 seats and one big TV on the wall. Since we live in a pretty rural (and conservative) area, it's always full, and its generally full of conservatives. It's also not unusual for Faux News to be on. In all honesty, if I'm going in to be scanned or ultra sounded or MRI'd, I'm either medicated or too busy being self-absorbed to focus on  Faux News in the waiting room- and last time my husband got stuck being subjected to 45 minutes of a fraudcast because there was no attendant around to change the channel.
He routinely listens to the opposition- I rarely do, because the stories piss me off;  I have little self-control and start imagining the sounds Rush Limbaugh would make if I repeatedly backed over him with my minivan. I have fantasies about crazy-gluing body parts of Glenn Beck to those of Sean Hannity and taking lots of pictures of it. I wonder what it would feel like to hit Ann Coulter with a paintball gun at really close range.( I ponder whether she really is a man. She has an Adam's apple) I digress... it's not good to feel this way. Not mature- my reaction to conservative talk radio or TV just isn't healthy.
 When my tests were done, and we left the hospital,  I was very glad to still be under the influence of  Valium, because all the way home, my husband recounted the horrible stories he'd been subjected to for nearly an hour on Faux, without the benefit of as much as a mute button.
But I couldn't argue with his point that I can't piss and moan about something if I don't observe it with my own eyes. Dammit. I was curious to see what, if anything, the talking heads at Faux were saying about the News Corp. scandal, and Rupert Murdock. So I  visited enemy territory. As it turns out...they didn't say  much about their own dirty laundry. I did read an insult-the-intelligence-of anyone-who-walks-upright- fauxitorial on how President Obama doesn't know anything about the economy; (the same bullshit about phony job creators, the same reduce government crap) and the comments following were downright scary. It's scary that people are dumb enough to swallow this garbage.  There was a Fauxpoll, which showed that 88% of the readers believe that there is really no problem with the debt ceiling and President Obama is simply using scare tactics. I wonder how many of the respondents are on social security, yet don't believe they participate in any government program?
How long did it take for this portion of the population to become completely disengaged from reality?
How big a role did phony facts and a toy media play in that?
This would all be just fine, except the idiots and the baggers they elected are screwing things up for the rest of us. I've been on the site 4 minutes and I'm sick to my stomach.
Exit. Home. Delete. Help. Quick. CNN. MSNBC. NPR. Get me the fuck out of here. 
Oh, look...a  CNN poll, in which 78% of readers believe that the Bush tax cuts for families that make over $250,000 should be allowed to expire in 2013 as part of a debt reduction package.
Oh, look, Stupid animal videos.
Breathe. Shower. Read progressive blogs.
I'm not going back to Faux for a long time. It's just too, too slimy. At least not until I get another Valium.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Eric Cantor...the brattiest kid on the block

Send a message to Eric Cantor, and let him know we don't approve of his little hissy-fit during negotiations with President Obama. Let him know we don't approve of anything the Repos have been doing, and this isn't high school any more. He should stop lying, and act like a grown up. Oh...never mind...I forgot who I was talking about. Sniveling little brat.
Seriously though...his parents should have given him more time-outs and taught him how to behave. I'd feel like crap if I knew that I raised a little dickhole like him.
Here's a link to his email.
You have to put in a VA zip code to use it. His office zip in Glen Allen is 23060. It works.

Amnesia... or simply brains of marshmallow fluff?

Why in Heaven's name would ANYONE allow the Republicans to run anything, ever again?
Have we forgotten or do we just not care?
For eight years we had economic policies that dug us into this mess...and now, even while we're smack dab in the center of the crap the Repos and Baggers are making much worse by acting like the most self-centered, grabbiest, I've-got-mine-so-fuck-everyone-else bunch of stupid asshats; there are still people out there who mindlessly embrace budget cuts that will hurt them. And their retired parents. And their veteran Uncle Bob. And their disabled Aunt Betty. And the kids they have in special ed.
 Do they not see that this is the economic equivalent of bending over and getting the Vaseline so they can get screwed by the Koch Bros, Exxon-Mobile, or any number of Wall Street vermin who might be up for shelling out $700 for a couple of bottles of wine for Paul Ryan & friends?'re ignoring reality. And that is really, really stupid. You've lost your grasp on facts, history, and you are ignoring the fact that everything the Repo's have said about job creation and tax breaks for the 'job creators' is a big steaming pile of cow shit. Lots of corporate profits. Not lots of jobs. Lots of obscene bonuses. Not lots of jobs. Repo's have been yowling since the midterms that they were all about job creation...but what have they really been about? More breaks for the most privileged among us, privatizing any damn thing they can get their grubby little paws on, stealing voting rights, closing down family planning clinics, undoing the progress of health reform, acting like religious nut jobs, and doing their damnedest  to legislate what goes on in my very own panties. I don't see much in the way of jobs, though. If the worthless Republican Party spent, oh, I don't know...maybe 15% of the time on job creation that they spend trying to throw roadblocks in the President's way, and obsessing about how I use my girl parts,  maybe the economy wouldn't be circling the bowl. Except for the fact that they suck at everything except kissing hedge fund manager ass, so never mind, I'm probably wrong about that.
But here's what I think...The Republican Party and the Baggers have one worthwhile use. To unite Democrats and Progressives to find common ground and kick their worthless asses out of any kind of public office. That's it. If we can't come together, and start seeing them for what they are...which is the political version of that creepy, perv-y guy who offers you candy to go for a ride in his car...then we can only blame ourselves for what we are unable to accomplish.
That's topic for next time...HOW TO RE-BRAND KARL ROVE & AMERICAN CROSSROADS AS THAT PERV-Y GUY WITH CANDY???  We all know that's who he really is.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I dreamed there was no more Faux News...

I grew up (literally) in a newsroom. My father was a newspaperman, back in the day when they actually reported the news. Before newspapers were wrecked by MBA's. These guys were an aggressive, surly,  focused-on-the-facts group who seemed irritable more often than not (not to be sexist, but back then, it was mostly guys; the majority of  women at the newspaper handled the society pages...and were really boring...kind of like the Junior League glued to typewriters) know how some parents park their kids in front of the TV as a babysitter? When I got to go to work with my dad,(always on weekends or holidays when the paper had a skeleton crew and my mother wanted me out of the house) he'd  use the wire service as the babysitter. I was barely old enough to read when he'd park me  in front of a monstrously noisy teletype machine, calling out over his shoulder to  "keep an eye on the AP (or maybe it was UPI) service"  for him, as he'd disappear through the swinging double doors into the 'back shop'. That's where all the good stuff was going on, banks of compositors with editors over their shoulders, marking up, cutting, pasting, chain-smoking and swearing.  Of course the bit about keeping an eye on the stories coming off the wire service was that age I could probably recognize only one of every three words that flew off those automated keys, as the stories would  keep coming and the roll of paper would grow before my eyes until it unwound on the floor at my feet. Sometimes (if it was after the composing close...we were an afternoon paper, so I knew I couldn't go through those double doors until after 1:00 PM) I'd peek into the back shop and yell to him some of the words I could recognize- as if I was really passing on something of value. I'd shout out  that something was WASHINGTON or NEW YORK or POLICE or KILLING, and wait until he'd come back and pretend to peruse what I'd alerted him to.
What was addictive to me, even back then, was the idea that stuff just kept happening, out there in the world, and my father and his buddies (who cussed so much and always seemed so tense until after the deadline) were doing important work that made it possible to open a newspaper and read about what was going on in the world.
Years later, I was much older, when he had moved from city editor to investigative reporter, I became aware of how much was involved in gathering information, and fact finding. It was a different world back then. No one printed allegations. No one would go with a story unless there were at least two independent sources that were willing to go on the  record. Every time his byline was printed under a series or story, his reputation was on the line. Heaven knows, he didn't earn a great deal, so it was never a paycheck that he stressed over, it was his reputation. That's what caused him to check and recheck facts, to question the integrity of his sources and to make sure he got things right.
At home, we watched the Bill Shadel, Walter Cronkite and the Huntley-Brinkley Report (that's all there was) each night, so he could compare the network reporting, then we'd discuss current events as a  family, so he could make sure we knew what was going on. Not knowing was an unforgivable sin. Not caring was worse.
My father died almost 20 years ago, and in many ways, I'm glad he never lived to see how news organizations have become extensions of  corporate America- or worse, Faux News.
The recent scandals of Rupert Murdock and the subsequent opinions about his potential downfall, including the speculation that the fallout may be so great it could even damage Fox has allowed me to dream...what if...
What if there was no Faux News? What if those lazy fools who rely on the lies that Faux spews daily didn't have them supplying the endless fountain of drivel? What if they actually had to make an effort to READ and UNDERSTAND current events without a rabid, ranting talking head telling them who to hate?
I would be like lopping the tail off a lizard...they'll just grow a new one. Those folks out there who care little for facts will always care little for facts...they'll just click on Brietbart or tune in Rush or some other 'personality' who has a lax relationship with the truth.
It doesn't seem like an accident...the correlation between Faux News' growth in viewership and the dumbing down of the population. It would be a tremendous public service, and benefit to the country if they just went away. I don't think it will happen, either-
But...a girl can dream, can't she?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Thank you, Betty Ford.

We lost Betty Ford at 93. Not much to say, except she was a class act. Courageous lady, came down on the right side of issues... faced her challenges from alcoholism to breast cancer with little concern for the secrecy that was the standard of the day. She did a great deal to give others the strength to face those many women got breast exams because of Betty Ford? How many of those afflicted and in pain saw her face addictions and realized there was hope on the other side?
Bigger than any political designation...but folks on both sides of the aisle could learn from the way she conducted herself.
Quite a First Lady.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Outraged Florida protesters... put your money where your mouth is

I don't get 'concerned' citizens that feel the need to paint up some signs, proclaiming they are so upset by the Casey Anthony verdict that they have to cry, scream, and shake their fists.
One pathetic excuse for a mother even bragged about the fact that she left her family behind (somewhere in the Midwest) so she could fly to Florida to watch the proceedings and hear the verdict in person.
Maybe her kids are better off with worthless mom a 1000 miles away, because what kind of priorities does this woman have to have?  Note to case you weren't aware; national stats on child abuse show that nearly five children die in the US of abuse or neglect on a daily basis.
No one is saying this isn't a tragedy.
If you are really, truly as heartbroken over the death of this little girl as you profess to be, put the fucking sign down, shut the hell up, get off your asses and do something to make a difference. Try putting some energy into preventing the next case...or would you just rather wait for an ugly crime to unfold so you can have something else to feign outrage over? Instead of spending your cash on airfare and hotels, you could donate it to a children's shelter. Work a hotline. Help with education and intervention.  Put your time and money where your big stupid mouths are.
Oh...I didn't think so.
Useless pieces of sneeze.
This reminds me of the Right to Lifer's who I used to run into outside of Planned Parenthood. They profess to love the babies, but for all their 'protect life' rhetoric, just like the rest of the right wingers, they don't give a fig about the babies, once they're out and breathing oxygen.
The same people who expound on the sanctity of life are the first ones to slash the funding, essentially paving the way to starve and cut medical care to those very same little babies they say they love so much. Life is sacred? Money where your mouth  is. And while we're on it, why do the life is sacred folks always support the death penalty? Sick bastards.
I'm a hypocrite about a lot of stuff. I'll be the first one to admit it. This isn't one of them. We volunteered at Planned Parenthood, because although on a personal level, I don't believe abortion is a solution, I'll fight until the day I die to protect the right of women who aren't me to make their own choices. It's not complicated. I figured it out and I'm pretty simple. I only get to decide for me.  If you don't believe in something, don't do it. But stay the hell out the your neighbor's uterus. On another's funny how we never ran into any of those anti-choice protesters being foster parents, providing meals or giving respite care to stressed out new parents with real live babies. How's this...if you all want to do the outrage thing, then you have to do the heavy lifting that comes with it. It's more than a hefting up a square of poster board on a stick.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Just because you can doesn't mean you should...

 I am NO fan of reality television. Given the fact that it's the equivalent of a TV weed patch, choking off more and more well-written programs (Hell, it's even killing off  poorly written programs), because after all, it's cheap, and the audience seems to have an amazing capacity for stupidity. As long I can hit the 'off' button, except for that asshat Donald Trump, it never bothered me all that much.
Perhaps because I've grown so accustomed to ignoring all reality shows, I had no idea how out of control things have gotten. Watching rude, ignorant people behaving badly brought us Jersey Shore and  Sarah Palin's Alaska. Easy enough to avoid. But collectively, reality shows have ruined cooking, dating, singing, dancing, and a whole bunch of crap I don't even know about. But someone really needs to explain this latest one to me...The Nail Files???
Seriously,  why do we want to watch a program about a fucking nail salon? Because the owner is a bleached blond and has big tits? Is that all it takes now?(Trust me, tits are way overrated. I've been told repeatedly mine are pretty what? Unless that salon owner can balance a bottle of OPI 'Thrill of Brazil' Nail Lacquer on her nipples, it's not worth a show.) Are we all supposed to be whack-ding because celebrities get their nails done there? This is just sad... Americans are blaming President Obama for the sorry state of affairs in the US, without a clue about what the Repo's are up to, but a reality show about a nail salon is big stuff. I don't even know where to start.
I'm a country girl now. I no longer have my nails done. But, for the 18 years I had standing 'fill' date for those awful acrylic nails, sitting in the salon for 45 minutes was pure torture. As far as boring, it was worse than a trip to the DMV, because in order to survive the ordeal, you had to check your brain at the door. Plus it smelled really bad. Chemically-bad.
It isn't like we're talking about  where the smartest kids are hanging out at the World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. (One of the coolest non-blogs ever) Oh's nothing like that.
This was created by the woman (forgot her name) who is responsible for bringing us Jersey Shore.
You know what I think a would make a good reality show? Dropping Exxon Mobile Pipeline CEO Gary Pruessing into the middle of the Yellowstone River without a paddle or a life vest. And then make him do some clean up with his own two hands. I'd watch that. Let's make Paul Ryan live on an average retiree's Social Security, and follow him around the grocery store, gas station and pharmacy to see how well he'd do. That's my kind of reality. Or maybe make Jeff Emerson, who is Aetna's head of Health Care Management, spend some quality time navigating around their circular voicemail system, trying in vain to get a procedure covered, bill paid, or problem solved. He's in charge of managing costs and improving access to affordable effective health care. I wonder if he deals with the same system as the rest of Aetna's customers. If so, he's not spending much time working...he's on hold. I wonder how many viewers would tune in to see that?
Probably not too many, they're all too busy watching for tits.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Fourth of July!

To everyone out there, Happy Fourth!
I'm just taking a second (in between baking) to appreciate that freedom of speech translates into the knowledge that the dumb-ass I had the pleasure of following after the parade this morning has every right to wear that idiotic 'Palin 2012" T-shirt...even if it was scarcely long enough to cover  his butt-crack. (Do you have a visual? Be very glad the blackberry was out of reach!)
On the other hand,  I get to come home, throw yet another cake in the oven, and drop a line about how it boggles my my mind that anyone who can actually walk upright would be seen wearing a shirt supporting Sarah Palin. Driving back to the house we passed a car bearing  a bumper sticker that made me feel like our little town wasn't totally being invaded by morons....It read..."Bachmann/Satan- 2012" in that red, white & blue stars & stripe-y typeface.  I'm sure the owner of the old Subaru had it made up special.
Someone after my own heart. If I hadn't seen that, & just had to deal with the influx of Repo's from out of town, I might be tempted to just turn on the gas, leave the cake unbaked on the counter, and stick my head in the oven. But, I do love my country, and I do love the freedom to disagree.  Let's go on to fight another day....Have a good one!

Friday, July 1, 2011

If recent letters to the editor are an indicator, we're fueled by greed and stupidity.

It's lovely here this time of year, except for the people. Well, not all the people suck. Just some of the people. Well, actually only a few...the ones who write foaming-at-the-mouth-right-wing-ranty-too-stupid-to-live letters to the editor to our local paper, The Delta County Independent.
Lately, there's been a rash of mean, republican-y opinions that pretty much consist of the viewpoint that anyone who gets Social Security, Medicare, Unemployment Insurance Benefits, or any type of food stamps or public assistance is a good-for-nothing freeloader who doesn't deserve to live. Oh, and according to these brilliant citizens and patriotic Americans, we must never feed, clothe, educate or provide any kind of humanitarian care to any person who may be here illegally.
The reason why this a post rather than an official letter to the editor? Because I want to respond  without an editor, and let my asshole flag fly. My response to the collective letter-writers who want to 'recycle Congress, force food stamp recipients to make better choices, kick out immigrants, and scold the 'freeloaders' on 'entitlements' is, " FUCK YOU, you dimwitted Faux News watching knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing morons!"
First off- your letters all bitch and moan about welfare recipients, but never once do any of you mention those on the receiving end of corporate welfare, or big fat tax credits, or other government subsidies. (No it's only people who need a little help feeding their kids they have a problem with...for the record, I learned from a woman who works for the county that here, food stamp recipients have to work for their benefits if they are able-bodied. One more reason these letter-writers are full of shit)
One of the letters complaining about food stamp recipients came from Eckert, CO.  The same Eckert, CO where a few folks received  1,355,540 in farm subsidies over the last ten years. The author of the letter wanted all recipients of welfare and food stamps drug tested quarterly. Does that include recipients of farm subsidies and corporate welfare? I'll bet they never considered that. I have no problem with my tax dollars helping support family farms. In fact, I think the idea of supporting sustainable family farms that bring us clean, healthy food should be hailed. But it frosts my cookies to hear greedy, selfish, stupid people vilify those below the poverty line in order to justify their fear and hatred of brown people, or Latin people. There's been a lot of disdain for the unemployed in these letters as well, but no mention of the employers who kick their employees to the curb for a few dollars more profit.  Mostly these hate-letters describe the thoughts of  weak-minded individuals who are afraid of change and can't wrap their pea-brains around the fact that limited government does not look like mandatory drug tests for poor people,  or forced sonograms for women choosing to exercise their right to control their own bodies.That would be BIG government. Big, intrusive government. (See what happens to people when they park their dumb asses in front of Glenn Beck? Thank heaven that's no longer an option!)
 They think of education as a 'freebie' and like food and basic medical care it's something that we should deny to people who are not born here. Lets stop and think about the real cost of denying an education to anyone's kids...  Think about what an entire segment of the population that is denied an education does to us as a nation. Kind of sounds like what the mullahs embrace, doesn't it?  In fact, all the ideas put forth by these 'good Americans' sound far more like they came out of the mouths of the Taliban.The question I'm pondering is, how much damage are we going to allow these morons to do before we pull the rug out from under their entire tea party movement, with an overwhelming, "No thank you, we're not buying your bullshit!"?
These people and their pathetic views are an example of  how far our morality has eroded. In bad economic times, people show their true colors. It's not pretty. Makes me ashamed these people live here in Delta County.  Idiots who don't have the slightest idea what they are talking about now speak with authority on the growing deficit. They weren't thinking at all of the deficit until the good people at Faux News told them to, now they can't get their minds around anything else. Except who to always comes down to blame, and its never Bof A, or Exxon, or GE...its never the CEO's who aren't creating jobs, they're shipping them overseas so they can collect a bigger bonus. It's always the fault of the poor people, or the brown people, or the Federal employees, or the medicare recipients, or the environmentalists because they protest  having OUR air and water poisoned. It's never the fault of the Republicans who walk out or hold up the vote, or have a fake's always the fault of the Democrat in the White House...but enough is enough. You greedy sonsofbitches are the minority, and we're not going to let you get by with this bullshit, not one more day. Fun's over. We're coming to crash your tea party.