Tuesday, March 16, 2010

your business model is...poop!

I haven't posted anything for a while- a sheer lack of inspiration that was instantly vanquished by the signage posted on a vehicle I followed for a little while today on Highway 133 (or as my husband, the consummate Californian, says...THE 133) Anyway, the sign on the truck advertised the business: CHEERFUL CESSPOOL SERVICE. Oh Yeah. First off; I want to know why. How is anyone all that cheerful about providing a 'cesspool' service? This is the next best advertising slogan I've ever seen on a vehicle. The best one was on a truck I passed on the way to the White Plains airport, which read, XYZ CLEAN-UP. WE'RE #1 IN THE #2 BUSINESS along with WE PICK UP WHERE YOUR DOG LEFT OFF. But that was a few years ago. I'd laughed, then pretty much forgotten about it. There's really something sophomoric about poo humor. But this reminded me of another thing...when is the last time you heard the term 'cesspool' if it wasn't referring to city life or moral decay or various other things that republicans try to make everyone frightened of? When someone is talking about an actual cesspool they often mean a septic tank. As I've been informed, (TMI) cesspools are not legal in many places anymore. Some of the differences involve things like drainage slopes, sewage chambers, and mortar. Please don't ask me how I know this. It has to do with being on the receiving end of a very uncomfortable phone call involving a neighbor's property and a very drunk friend of theirs who pooped in their toilet while they were on vacation and clogged up their plumbing and what they found creeping into the bathtub upon their return. Not pretty. That's why I know it's a septic tank, and I know that it requires proper maintenance. But in all the scary stories I've heard; nothing ever involved the Cheerful Cesspool Service. However, if we'd known about them- we'd probably have referred them to the neighbors in distress. Most likely, they could have picked up where someone left off.

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