Monday, December 13, 2010

The voices in my head won't stop talking about me...

Things have not been going smoothly in our household as of late, for a variety of different reasons, but isolation, unpredictable weather and a lack of appreciation for contemporary culture are all contributing factors.
If you were to ask my husband his opinion on the cause of the difficulties, he'd ponder for about a tenth of a second, then offer as an explanation that he's married to a crazy woman. I can't really dispute the fact that I've kind of cornered the market on unpleasantness recently...and am beginning to understand both the terms 'cabin fever' and the reason why while traveling west, pioneer women sometimes went whack-ding and took out their entire families with any weapon they could get their wind-chapped hands on.
Over the past few weeks I've seriously considered whether or not a Bundt pan could be used as a lethal weapon. Rural translation...stay out of my way, or you'll be wearing that bake-sale donation. Oh yeah, and stop judging.
Wait, this isn't coming out right. I still love the small town life...but seeing the same few blocks of 'downtown', with the same characters permanently parked there...YIKES! The thought that everyone in town knows your business, but can't recognize the guest host on SNL can really get on a girl's nerves after a while, especially when that girl and her guy are busy yelling at each other. Even if there is no malice involved on the part of the townsfolk, it still makes me yearn for the days when I could be both anonymous and connected at the same time. Back in California, if I referred to my beloved as an asshat under my breath, there was no one who would report it back to him. And...people there knew what an asshat was.
I'm almost done with my mad-on over this; because just when it gets to the point when I think I'm going to lose it and start screaming obscenities at livestock, or the next person who wants to know how I am so they can use the information like a Kroger coupon ( SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE NO SECRETS HERE!) the community comes together and does something really wonderful, and just like in a working marriage...all is forgiven.
Over the past couple of weeks, while I've been hiding out; finding solace in Classic Coke (go for the kind in glass bottles, it must be 'Hecho in Mexico', because it's made with cane sugar and tastes just like it did when we were kids) and Cheezy Puffs (FYI: wash your hands after you eat these...the J, K, and P keys on my laptop are permanently dyed orange from cheezy puff powder. Not pretty) the good folks of the North Fork Valley (yeah, the same ones I've been bitching about) have raised a bunch of money for scholarships, as well as put on a party and provided an abundance of Christmas gifts for children who would otherwise have no holiday at all.
Again, I come face to face with another example of the good, the bad, and the ugly... only this time a big chunk of the ugly has been of my own creation.
The next time cabin fever rears it's nasty head, a little imagination and effort channelled into a road trip and some exposure to city life should fix it. I'll be 100% over it, and back in small-town appreciation mode again. Except from now on, when someone wants to know my business...I'll just make shit up.

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