Thursday, September 15, 2011

Non-political nonsense...NO ONE EVER SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Just a thought...a non-political thought-
Having a conversation with my husband last night- doing my usual bitching about stuff, when I realized...
NO ONE REALLY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.
When you're a tiny kid you don't sleep through the night because you're busy peeing the bed or dreaming about crazy stuff like having your silly putty grow legs and run around your face. That wakes you up in the middle of the night.
Then you get older, and get to have slumber parties, or hide under the covers talking on the phone, until your parents see the 25 ft. of phone cord hanging out from under your comforter...after you get busted, you spend the rest of the night trying to sneak the phone back in your room- bottom line... you don't sleep through the night.
A little older, and your raging teenage hormones keep you awake.
A little beyond that, if you're lucky, you're not sleeping because you're having newly discovered crazy monkey sex  most of the night.
A few years later, you're convinced you're never going to sleep again, because the children that are a result of that crazy monkey sex are busy peeing the bed and keeping you awake.
Fast forward a few years and you're too tired to sleep through the night. Seriously. Too. Tired.
Then, you don't sleep because you're awake listening for your kids to get home, and worried about what damage their teenage hormones will cause.
Next, your own change of life hormones are raging again, and guess what- no sleep.
Next phase...you can't sleep because you're up every 5 minutes to pee.
I'm tired just thinking about this. The dog and I are taking a nap.

3 comments:

  1. I'm on #6. Yikes...only 3 more to go.

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  2. Hey...you've done the fun ones...keep us in the loop if you discover some fresh hell...or new fun that proves to be another sleep-robber.

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