I don't think I'll ever be allowed back in the state of California again. It's not like there is anything felonious involved...but it's time to face the music. I no longer possess the driving skills and knowledge necessary to survive in the Golden State. I used to be a 'professional' driver. Most Californians are. We have to be; we spend most of our waking hours sitting in traffic. Seriously; if this wasn't the case, I'd never, ever get to speak to any of my good friends who still reside in CA. They call me while they are spending the obligatory hours behind the wheel each day...and I am happy to get the calls. Sometimes it makes me a little homesick. I hear traffic noise; horns honking, sirens, the occasional shout-out. If it's a long conversation, I can almost smell the exhaust. Now for my reality.
We drove to 'Junction' the other day, and it had been so long since I had to deal with a stoplight, I momentarily forgot what to do. I have also become a stupid pedestrian as well. (push the button...wait for the picture to change) How quickly we forget.
In my defense, I was distracted by the abundance of ridiculous street names in Grand Junction.
What were people thinking when they named F1/2 , D 5/8 , or E 1/4 Road? Come on- you guys couldn't come up with some cowboy sounding names? How about more crap named after rock formations- there's an abundance of inspiration for that. OK, how about just doing what every other city in the US does, and name stuff after old white guys?
Does anyone have any idea how dull and unimaginative this seems to a newcomer? Letters and Numbers...and fractions? Why? It would be easier to remember streets named after body parts, or diseases for that matter. We've kind of gone crazy for pharmaceuticals- why don't we name streets after our favorite medications? Imagine Lyrica Lane, Zetia Circle, Chantix Drive. If you think this is nuts...may I remind of you that we're just trying to do better than Highway 6 and 50. The bar isn't that high. I submit for approval, the Ambien Expressway. For anyone who doesn't think it's feasible, check out this photo.
This is from a traffic cam in Grand Junction. Note the heavy traffic; which someone believed necessitating the need for a traffic cam.
I'm a jaded California driver. (read: Asshat) I know. I'm also not complaining about the lack of traffic, I'm just saying I could totally sleep on this highway.