Saturday, July 16, 2011

I feel dirty...

I took another shower, but it didn't help. I even looked at several dozen cute cat videos, did some deep breathing, but nothing is making me feel better. I did this to myself. I brought on the damage...I went to the Faux News website and read a fauxitorial, looked at the results of a fauxpoll (NOT A SCIENTIFIC POLL!) and scanned reader's (I use the term loosely) fauxmments. It was AAAWWWFFFUUULLLL. The people who wrote in were mostly as dumb as a bag of hammers and twice as nasty as used kitty litter.
This is all my husband's fault. It's true. I can totally, completely blame him 100% for the fact that my eyes are burning in their sockets, what's left of my brain is melting, and I threw up in my mouth.
This morning over coffee, he commented that if I didn't check in with the opposition once in a while, then I couldn't comment with any authority on the evils they commit. I supposed he was right. We have a hard and fast rule that there is no Faux News Channel allowed on in our home, and if we are in any public place where it is being shown we either politely ask that the channel be changed or leave. This is fine if it's a commercial establishment, but a couple of weeks ago he was stuck in the hospital waiting area while I had some tests done. The waiting area has about 6 seats and one big TV on the wall. Since we live in a pretty rural (and conservative) area, it's always full, and its generally full of conservatives. It's also not unusual for Faux News to be on. In all honesty, if I'm going in to be scanned or ultra sounded or MRI'd, I'm either medicated or too busy being self-absorbed to focus on  Faux News in the waiting room- and last time my husband got stuck being subjected to 45 minutes of a fraudcast because there was no attendant around to change the channel.
He routinely listens to the opposition- I rarely do, because the stories piss me off;  I have little self-control and start imagining the sounds Rush Limbaugh would make if I repeatedly backed over him with my minivan. I have fantasies about crazy-gluing body parts of Glenn Beck to those of Sean Hannity and taking lots of pictures of it. I wonder what it would feel like to hit Ann Coulter with a paintball gun at really close range.( I ponder whether she really is a man. She has an Adam's apple) I digress... it's not good to feel this way. Not mature- my reaction to conservative talk radio or TV just isn't healthy.
 When my tests were done, and we left the hospital,  I was very glad to still be under the influence of  Valium, because all the way home, my husband recounted the horrible stories he'd been subjected to for nearly an hour on Faux, without the benefit of as much as a mute button.
But I couldn't argue with his point that I can't piss and moan about something if I don't observe it with my own eyes. Dammit. I was curious to see what, if anything, the talking heads at Faux were saying about the News Corp. scandal, and Rupert Murdock. So I  visited enemy territory. As it turns out...they didn't say  much about their own dirty laundry. I did read an insult-the-intelligence-of anyone-who-walks-upright- fauxitorial on how President Obama doesn't know anything about the economy; (the same bullshit about phony job creators, the same reduce government crap) and the comments following were downright scary. It's scary that people are dumb enough to swallow this garbage.  There was a Fauxpoll, which showed that 88% of the readers believe that there is really no problem with the debt ceiling and President Obama is simply using scare tactics. I wonder how many of the respondents are on social security, yet don't believe they participate in any government program?
How long did it take for this portion of the population to become completely disengaged from reality?
How big a role did phony facts and a toy media play in that?
This would all be just fine, except the idiots and the baggers they elected are screwing things up for the rest of us. I've been on the site 4 minutes and I'm sick to my stomach.
Exit. Home. Delete. Help. Quick. CNN. MSNBC. NPR. Get me the fuck out of here. 
Oh, look...a  CNN poll, in which 78% of readers believe that the Bush tax cuts for families that make over $250,000 should be allowed to expire in 2013 as part of a debt reduction package.
Oh, look, Stupid animal videos.
Breathe. Shower. Read progressive blogs.
I'm not going back to Faux for a long time. It's just too, too slimy. At least not until I get another Valium.


  1. I literally can not listen to that and if I did I would end up like you.

    You stay away from that. Look what it does.

  2. I know! Already this morning I made the mistake of listening to Marco Rubio (Idiot-R-Fl) spew lies during a CBS interview.I don't get Florida at all...does the sun fry the brains of half the population, or have a whole bunch of them gotten hit on the head by falling coconuts? (I saw that happen once) From now on, I'm arming myself with a toy slingshot and a bag of mini-marshmallows to shoot at the TV screen. It won't do any good, but it makes me feel better. Think I'll visit your site again and look up some pictures of pretty flowers. That always makes me happy.