Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Adding to my misery...no one here thinks I'm funny.

On a non-political note; lately I've become a coupon whore. I don't know why. Never done this before...maybe it's the economy, maybe it's the competition; because somewhere, someone got a TV show about clipping coupons, and saving more money than they actually spend. I don't know, but I do know that I can't stop saving those '$1.00 OFF' register receipts that the only grocery store in town shoves in my face on my daily (yes, daily) visit. Hey, there is nothing else to do here, and if I didn't stop and chat at the City Market, I'd be parked on a bar stool someplace with my ass growing larger by the minute. OK...that said, during today's visit, I realized that no one here thinks I'm funny. This is how I know...
I used one of my coupons on coffee, and when I was handed my register receipt, the clerk said proudly, "You've got another coffee coupon!" as if I should do a celebratory dance. The thing was, I kinda felt like it. But, here's the hook, next time, in order to get the discount, I had to purchase twice as much of the brand-which-shall-remain-nameless-coffee. "Oh, hell, no!" I said to the clerk. "These things hook you, they're like heroin!" I thought it was funny. Come on, dollar off coffee coupons...illegal, destructive, addictive drug? The clerk just looked at me coldly, and said, "I wouldn't know about that."
Honey, you're my age.  You know better, because you're more matronly than me. Less cool, if that's possible. As far from 'heroin-chic' as we can get. I WAS KIDDING! I'M A FUCKING GIRL SCOUT. I FEEL GUILTY AND CHECK TO SEE IF ANYONE I KNOW IS  WATCHING WHEN I BUY PERSONAL HYGIENE PRODUCTS. Well, maybe not. But you get the point. That's why it was funny.
Except, to you it wasn't. That's one of the things I miss about California. More people there laughed at me.

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